Hotel talk

Word on the street is that The Four Seasons in this neck of the woods is in serious difficulty.

I know that some would fear for the loss of jobs and wotnot, but I'm not surprised they're in the red and I'm sort of glad they're in diffs. There's a reason for this.

A few years back I had an outcall to the hotel. So I pulled up in my little jetta with my fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror. I had to haul ALL my equipment (which included my table) on to one of those luggage trolley thingies and then park my own car AND NOT ONE OF THE BELL STAFF CAME NEAR ME.
I had my tips in my pocket ready to give out. Had someone helped me I would have tipped WELL because I work in a job where good tips are appreciated. I also used to work in hotels in my 20's so I know what is expected.

A woman that was driving a Mercedes that had Louis Vuitton bags had a plethora of people around her.

About a year after that I went to the "W" in downtown Dallas for work again (I normally don't go so far, but I liked the client). The guys there were really helpful, about 3 of them helped me with my gear. One of them even said that my little beat up jetta would go on for ever.

One other thing about the Four Seasons, I don't know what the attraction was about the hotel. The rooms are small and I've stayed in nicer accommodations in Crowne Plaza and Marriott hotels.

SO if anyone ever asks what the best hotel is in the metroplex, I have NO hesitiation in saying "The W. Don't go near the Four Seasons. They suck".

Just goes to show how things pan out and the importance of treating everyone the same, fuzzy dice and all.
I always try to keep this in mind when dealing with Joe Public.

Proof that I am not a morning person

I'd an early start this morning.
I have a little workflow pattern that I go through to set up before work and as part of that I put my lotion bottle in the towel warmer just to warm up the lotion.

Only this morning I was out of sorts.
I put a bottle of water in the towel warmer.
I caught on when I saw my bottle of lotion and checked to see what I'd actually put in the towel warmer.
If things had gone on in this mode, I would have given the first client a bottle of lotion to drink after the massage and I would have been massaging with warm water.

Then again, I supposed it would be OK to massage with water if the client happens to be possessed - holy water in that case.
Possessed clients aren't fun to work on though. I think it's the way their head turns 360 degrees that's just distracting and the fact that you've to use twice as much Oxy Clean on the sheets since they spew so much green pea soup.
They could do with a face toning massage though!

Happiness is...

...a new electric table warmer.

Big Magnets and No Business Cards

I went on a home visit yesterday and called in at Half Price Books (one of my favorite stores) on the way home.

When I came out of the store there was a woman wailing and shouting down the phone in the parking lot. I'd never seen anyone so hysterical. Anyway, I was walking to the car, when another woman approached me. I thought she was going to remark on the wailing Banshee, but instead she said "You're a masseuse?" (yes, I dislike that term as much as the next massage therapist).
She had noticed my car magnets and started a conversation where she wanted to know where I worked, how much I charged etc.
Meanwhile the wailing Banshee was getting even louder.
It was a sort of surreal few minutes. It was nearly like some sort of test whereby I was being tested on whether I could still talk about what I do when someone is having a total meltdown nearby.

Anyway, I didn't have business cards with me.

What's the first rule of thumb for every business owner/massage therapist? ALWAYS have business cards. You'd think I'd know that by now, right?
Anyway, the lady had a writing pad and wrote down my information.
It's funny, I always think that no one notices those magnets on the side of the car, but they do. They're an easy and cheap marketing tool and you never know who sees them!

As for cards - well, I REALLY should have been giving one to the Banshee too.

I thought it was going to be a killer week

But things don't always turn out the way I planned.

I had 1 client sick.
Another 4 rescheduled (I thought the full moon was on Monday??? It seems that everyone was a bit crazy this week) and I had to reschedule 1 because of a gut issue.
It was still OK - 21 massages, but I thought it was going to be a 27 massage hour week.


Oh well....maybe next week

A Piece of Massage Equipment Going Haywire

My electric table warmer has turned menopausal.

I have no idea what is going on with it, but it's beeping and doing weird stuff and it just isn't working the way it should. Of course, maybe I've just configured some weird thing in it by mistake. I need to look at the instructions if I can find them. (Yes, I need the instruction thingy - how sad is that?)

The clients like a nice and cozy table. I think it makes a difference, especially since the cold weather will be coming in soon. I don't normally keep the table warmer on during the massage - except when someone asks for it to be kept on. Part of the reason is that I've read that it can create an upset to meridians and energy of the client and I'm wary of the effects of electromagnetic fields on the body, but I do like to warm the table up before the client climbs in since it evokes that "Mmmmmm...this is nice" response.

Anyway, if the warmer has a hot flash, that's OK. It's what it's supposed to do anyway!

The epitome of professionalism

I'd a long day yesterday, so I came home and flopped in front of the T.V and watched the mind-numbing Housewives of Orange County.
After lowering my I.Q drastically I got up and felt my butt.
Something didn't feel right.
Sure enough, after heading to the bathroom mirror to investigate I found out there was a huge rip in the butt of my jeans.


I'd been wearing these jeans all day at work and I have no idea when the tear happened. It was no small rip but the only good thing was that I was wearing navy underwear (and no, I don't do thongs - I'm actually glad I wear big Bridget Jones's).

Yep, I'm just the height of professionalism!

Dusty Days

It always amazes me how quickly my massage room gets dusty.
Seriously. It seems that I've to go over things daily since it accumulates so fast.
And as for under the table? It's a magnet for dust bunnies.
I'm glad I have an easily "swifferable" and washable floor.
It makes a hec of a difference and I just feel better knowing the room is clean.

But then is it any wonder the room gets dusty so fast?
There are a lot of claims on the internet (and some that say the claim isn't correct) that dust is mainly comprised of dead skin cells. Since I work on skin all day, it's hardly surprising that just my work could create a lot of dust, even if I use lotion most of the time. I've also read that it is made up of fabric fibers (and every massage therapist's room is sheet city), bits of food and other dry stuff and just plain ol' dirt.
Taking it further, dust might contain: pollen, mold, fungi, plant and vegetable matter, insect parts and if there is a mattress or pillow involved it could have dust mites and dust mite poop. Dust mites apparently feed on human and animal dander (our skin flakes) and apparently we shed about 1/5 of an ounce of dander each week.

Lovely, eh?

I'm off to do a bit of swifferin' and moppin'......

Wee survey....

If you're an MT please take a minute this wee survey for someone that is trying to gather info on wages/etc. She is especially wanting feedback from MTs that work for other people, so please send the link to your MT buddies too!
Cheers!

It's a full moon tonight, so no massaging after dark

Don't you just hate it when you're working on someone and then they start transforming into a werewolf right there on the table?
You end up having to feed them a chicken just to keep them from howling and using 10 times more lotion on them since they're so hairy.

It sucks.

Massage Therapists of the World: Save Your Thumbs!

OK, so you know how I love my thumb, Artie?
Well, there's a reason for that which I think is easy to work out. I love my thumbs because if I injure them then there's a good chance I can't work as a massage therapist anymore.

Last night I went to the local school to the intern clinic and got a massage. The massage was good, but I SOOOOO wanted to tell the student to go easy on the thumb use. I was waiting on her asking for feedback from an MTs point of view, but she didn't ask and I didn't want to appear to be a "know-it-all-pain-in-the-neck" MT (let's admit it, there are lots of them out there) who would jump on telling people what to do.

Anyway, I'll go back in a few weeks and get another one to see if she's changed up her style a bit. She'd only just started her internship and I think she's going to be really good - I just don't want to see her injure her wee Artie. If she's still using them a lot I'll maybe drop a hint or two.

Going to the school made me think of the first massage I ever did on Josephine Public in my internship. It was a disaster. I sweated like a pig and thought I was going to keel over on to a pile on the floor. It still makes me cringe to this day when I think of it - the woman still came back to the clinic - she just didn't ask for me!

Face Toning Aromatherapy Massage

The worst thing about working for myself is that I don't really have anyone to run ideas by. I can sit and have brainstorming sessions with my multiple personalities, but sometimes they refuse to surface.
I sat and thought of Christmas specials again and since I've REALLY got into aromatherapy I decided to do a Frankincense essential oil face toning massage. My aromatherapy teacher is cool since I sent her a quick email to see what she thought and she suggested adding sweet orange oil to the blend too since the two oils complement each other well - and she's right. I was SOOO glad to have someone to run an idea by over email. She's great.
Frankincense is "Christmasy" and it's also one of the best oils for the skin and it suits many skin types.
It'll be interesting to see if I sell many. Usually what happens with the face toning massage add on is that people try it once and then keep on getting it since it's so relaxing.
I sat up and updated my website last night with the new massage specials. Would you be tempted to try it?

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

It also happens to be the most stressful
AND the busiest time of year for MTs
AND the time when we make the most money

I've got a list a mile long of things I need to do to promote gift cert sales, specials, wee things I'll sell and general promotional ideas I need to implement that come from being in a different location with 40 other little businesses around me.
Oh, and I need to include "Don't have a nervous breakdown" on the list too.

Holy Sheet

How often do we have to get our sheets together?
If there's one thing that we know about it's folding them.
OK, so taking 20 massages per week (I think that's the average), working 48 weeks out of the year, that's at least 1920 sheets per year that need folded and washed (approximately).

So over the past 6 years, I've probably folded round about 11,500 sheets just for work.
That's a helluva lot of sheet-folding.

Man, if only there were an Olympic event for it.........MTs would be ALL OVER IT.

Wee things this Massage Therapist has learned

1. When getting up to do 30 second commercials at networking meetings, be careful when trying to tell a joke since there is a chance no one will laugh BECAUSE NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION
2. When getting up to do 30 second commercials at networking meetings, don't be overly concerned about your gut hanging over your trousers or what you wear BECAUSE NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION
3. When you go to networking meetings and someone says "Is this your first time?" when it's actually your sixth, don't be alarmed, BECAUSE NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION

Or maybe it's: "BECAUSE NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION TO ME"

Sometimes I really wish I looked like Cheryl Crow.

It's REALLY nice to be missed

I spent most of today at an office doing chair massage. I also had 2 regular table massages, so I'm knackered, but the chair massage gig was a long one....but nice!

I'd been going to the office every month for ages, but then last January they started a ton of renovations to the office, so I couldn't go - there was nowhere for me to massage since the offices were being torn apart in stages. I thought I'd never hear from them again, but the office manager called about a week ago and asked if I could go today since they were having a health fair.
I was amazed at the number of people that said they missed me - all these wee software guys.
The office manager said that she sent out an email saying I'd be there today and that there would be a sign up list in the kitchen. She sent the email and she said by the time she got to the kitchen there was a line of people waiting to sign up!
Plus I got a free 'flu shot too - can't beat that.

We're going back to our monthly visit.
It's nice to be missed!

I love the prenatal yoga teacher at Medical Center of Plano

Why?
Because I've had 3 new clients from her class over the past 2 weeks and another new one has just booked - 4 new clients from 1 person in 2 weeks - now THAT'S a good referrer. It could also be a "ripple" effect, you know, the people in the class that have talked about their prenatal massage, but at the same time, I know the teacher is giving out my cards to people. She rocks.

I gotta get over to the class and give her a gift certificate for a 1 hour massage as a thank you.

The Obligatory Photo of Cows in the Field:

Can't have a photo of Ireland without cattle......these ones were at the back of the house, just hanging out, wondering who the dork was with the camera.

Our Meadow:

Just a typical Irish field, right? There is a little stream where the hedge is in the distance where my brothers and I would build dams and catch "spricks" (what we called tiny fish, and I have no idea what they were really called).

It's green. Very green. And there are no nasty snakes in the grass.

North coast of County Antrim

My family used to go on vacation to Portrush every summer when I was young and every time I go home I go there with my Mum since my sister lives in a neighboring town. This beach brings back a lot of happy memories for me. The north coast of Antrim has the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen, but the water is a tad cold!

(oh, and if you click on the pics you can see it much better)

Where St. Patrick did a bit of meditation....

....and would you blame him for wanting to get away from those pesky Irish? Apparently in the year 445, (that's right, NOT1445, 445) St. Paddy headed off to a wee island on Lough Derg and the whole island (which is VERY small) is now a place of pilgrimage. I know Robin wanted some pics of the homeland and these photos weren't from THIS visit home, but from 2 visits ago. Anyway, on the island they had this little labyrinth-like path that people walk around, meditating or praying (or both) and then they'd leave a little stone in the center. What struck me is that the center of it sort of looked like the yin/yang symbol, the way that the two grass lines come around each other.
It's cool.
If I was rich I'd have one of these in my back yard and my back yard would be 3 fields!

I just watched a not so good movie...

...that had a couple of great lines in it:

"Don't be bitter, Mary. It leads to Botox"

and

"Check out the face lift at 2 o'clock. She looks like she's re-entering the earth's atmosphere". The funniest thing about this is that it was Candice Bergen saying it to MEG RYAN in the movie.

Did Ryan NOT realize that this would make some women watching pee themselves laughing? Or maybe that was the point. Maybe she's making the most of those mutilated lips.
Oh, and they are REALLY distracting - the whole movie was just a Ryan lip watch session.

Do you ever feel like you need this?

Hmmmm....not too sure that's a good thing.....

A poor wee hurting client told me today that she's been using visualization techniques to try to help with her knee pain. She said that she's been setting her leg off to the side when she lies in bed and just imagines it as a disengaged piece of meat that's not attached to her.

Not too sure that's the right way of visualizing a limb....
We talked about it though.

3 things that I hate...

1. Spammers. I have a community site for MTs in Texas and I had to turn off my spam protection since I had a problem with the third party software. I've to upgrade the site (which I'll do tomorrow) to the new version of the software. So what happens as soon as I turn it off? I get bloody well spammed out the whazoo. Spammers hitting the discussion board selling ED pills and the like. Arrggghhhh! If I ruled the world all spammers would be hung by their iliopsoas muscles - yep, open them up, pull those muscle out, hook 'em up and swing 'em.

2. Chicago O'Hare airport. Every time I come through there I have an issue. This time I was pulled over by immigration and kept in a smelly room with other suspicious characters for about 45 minutes (because a middle aged woman with red hair and blue eyes and a wobbly belly just looks like she's up to some badness). I'd to run through the airport to get my connection flight and deal with that line for security that's about 5 miles long. Next year I'm going some other route.

3. Snorters. I thought I was OK on the plane coming over from Ireland when a dude who looked quiet sat beside me UNTIL HE SNORTED. Not "sniffed". NO, this dude sounded like he had a bucketful of snot at his occiput which he managed to rattle in a most gag-inducing way I've ever heard. You know what I mean, right? When dudes do this weird snort thing that just makes you want to shout something really unladylike very loudly. This dude did it every 15 minutes FOR HOURS. It's a good job they don't allow sharp objects on planes anymore since I would have been slitting my wrists from the agony of listening to this dude's phlegm rattle. I even tried my iPod and the rattle came in over the top of Zeppelin. Uncool!

OK, that's my rant for today. I reckon the worst person on the planet would be a snorter who works in O'Hare who spams for a hobby.

So was it unethical.....

....of me to write about the client with the wind problem?
If you look back on the posts (I think it was blooper #7) then you'll see that I don't mention the client's name, race, or age and it was a LONG time ago that this happened and it was REALLY extraordinary in that the gas situation went on and on and on.
When I looked at my google analytics tonight I found another blog that linked to it. The blogger said it was hilarious but they also said that they wouldn't come to me for a massage since they wouldn't want anyone writing about what they might have done in their sleep.
So taking into account that no one knows the client's name, the client thought THAT I HAD the issue and I don't know why anyone would say "I wouldn't go to her" because of that.
Now, if someone had criticized it as just being in bad taste, then maybe that's a valid point. It's crude, but at the same time, some days we've just to put up with bodily "stuff" and nature in all it's glory.
My main concern is "Is it unethical". Thoughts?

Oh....and pics of the homeland will be coming soon when I get my camera sorted out!

OK...so this is proof that...

...I'm a total failure at reading people.
The woman that I was so paranoid about a couple of posts ago (the one that I thought she thought the massage sucked) emailed me to see if she could get in for another massage - and her daughter.
I could get her daughter in, but not her since I'm booked solid this week and she's out of town next week. The MT that's on maternity leave comes back week after next.
So this is a good thing, right?
Thing is, I think she was a bit miffed at not being able to get in. BUT I'm just back from vacation and it's always balls to the wall when I get back since everyone is looking for one this week.
Oh well.....maybe I'm just misreading her again!

The reason I've been so "non-bloggy"

I've been in Ireland visiting the folks and I only got back yesterday.
It's raining in Texas AGAIN.
I got good weather most of the time in Ireland though and it was a nice visit.

Got to go and sort out real mail, email and the like now so I'll be back later!

Oh well......

The massage therapist next door to me is on maternity leave at the minute. She was nice enough to give my name to some of her clients before she left and I worked on one of them today. I didn't get the impression she liked the massage.
What is it with me that I've got to hear "That was great!!!" after a massage? Is it an ego thing? I mean, she didn't say it sucked - she just didn't say much. Maybe I was just conscious of the fact that this was another therapist's client, that I am only a fill in and that she has been with the other therapist for years. So maybe all those facts came into play and affected the massage itself.
Or maybe I'm over analyzing things ......or I'm just paranoid....or completely nuts.

Benefitting from someone else's mistake...again

OK, so remember the story about flakey MT that used to be across the hall and her client that she never called and the fact that I benefited from her flakiness?

Well, I came across a similar situation today. A pregnant client had bought one of those membership deals at a local massage place and she hundreds of dollars worth of credit in her account. She can't get in to use them because they only have 1 therapist that does prenatal massage in the place and she only works 2 days a week, doing 4 appointments a day. Apparently this client has been trying since MAY to get in to get a massage. She was given the run around so much that she just googled prenatal massage last night, emailed me and I got her in this morning since I had another client that had to reschedule.
So I got a new client from their mismanagement. But then they still have her money that they have drawn out every month.
It's not a good thing when I hear of people being frustrated like that, but then if things had gone smooth, I wouldn't be working on her now!

I want.....everything

It's a slow day today so I drove to the massage store. I believe the store, Body Logic, is the only massage store in this side of the DFW metroplex these days. When I first started massage, 6 years ago, there were 2 stores, then it went up to 3 and one of them was only 2 miles from me, but now there's just one. Maybe it's because of the online competition or maybe there's just a drop in MTs in this area. I'm not sure of the reason of the drop.

I walked in there intending to buy 3 things for less than $25, but walked out with $100 worth of stuff. Needless to say, it's an MTs paradise. I could spend hours in that place as well as all my money. It even smells good as soon as you walk in to the place. I just want to buy everything in it.

The reason for the drive is that one of the 3 things I'd to get was a still point inducer for one of my clients. It only costs about $22, and I didn't want to order it online and then spend $10 for the shipping, although considering I ended up spending $100, maybe I should have done that! I used to have one and lent it so a client that I later fired. I don't want to ask them for it back since I just don't want to have any contact with the fired client. If you're wondering why I fired them, it was because they were not respecting my time - continually. It's a long story - one that deserves a post on it's own, but since I don't want to write about negative stuff, I'll probably not! I don't fire clients often, by the way. Most people are nice!

Anyhooooo.......if you don't know what a still point inducer is, here's some information and a wee picture.
I'm going to lend it to a client for her to try out and if she likes it she can purchase one for herself. If she doesn't like it, then it's no big deal. Just so long as she brings it back!

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb on Labor Day Weekend

It's a tradition, isn't it? Labor day = grilling day, so the picture above is of Artie about to fire up the grill. If you click on the picture, you'll get a close up view of Artie's little apron, complete with all the accoutrement necessary to be able to flip, nudge and poke.

Artie hopes everyone is having a great weekend!

Blooper #7

This isn't really a blooper - it's more of a story that I hope no other therapist will ever have to go through.

We've all had clients that fall asleep and then broke wind. For me, it's a sort of compliment - an indication that the client is VERY relaxed. Normally I just smile to myself, look at the wall and imagine Bono coming walking through bright light singing "It's a Beautiful Day".
It happens - it's no big deal.

So in a 1.5 hour session, I had turned the client prone, she fell asleep and I heard one. No big deal. It was a bit smelly, but I knew it would pass. Until, it happened again. And again. And again.
For a whole 45 minutes this went on.
I can't describe what the air in the room smelt like. Put it this way - if it was possible to bottle the air in the room, it could have been used as a weapon of mass destruction.
My eyes watered.
I was throwing the lavender oil around me like a priest with Holy Water.
I couldn't concentrate.
It was probably the worst massage I've ever given in my life and I didn't care.
I had visions of my husband finding me next to the table. Dead. The woman still sleeping. I wondered if the rank air would still be held in my lungs after I died and if it would also kill the people doing an autopsy on me.
I wondered if my tombstone would have "D.B.F" (death by fart) engraved after "R.I.P".

Well, after 45 minutes I put a hot towel on the woman's back. I normally do this as a nice little indicator that the massage is over. She woke up. I was never so glad to see the end of the massage.
The air in the room was still rank.
I got out of there as quickly as possible.

When I got out I noticed my eyes were red.
She came out and paid for the massage, booked another and then said "Are you feeling OK?"

Yes, people.
I do believe she thought I was the generator of the most foul air ever produced.

I was SOOO taken aback by this, I just said "Yes, I'm fine".
What I really wanted to say was "Well, nothing has crawled up my butt and died lately. I'm not too sure about yours, though."

Blooper #6

The following happened on a looonnnnng day.
It was my first visit to to local Chamber of Commerce and since I was there as a guest I had to get up and speak for about 20 seconds about my business. It was the day before St. Patrick's Day and there were a lot of people dressed in green - some even dressed up as leprechauns. When I got up to speak I think people thought I was putting on my Irish accent and I became incredibly nervous - I started sweating. I could feel the beads of sweat at the back of my neck and on my lip.
After the meeting I'd to go and do a 1.5 hour hot stone massage, which was hot work, then I'd to get some lunch and rush off to a 3 hour chair massage gig in an office.
While in the middle of this session I had a bit of a panic attack. I discovered that my right armpit was stinking.
Well, if there's one thing that doesn't exactly "go together", it's massage therapy and B.O., and of course I had come to the job without any antiperspirant in my bag.
But I put my thinking cap on.
I spray my chair with Lysol every now and then to prevent the spread of any viruses.
So, yep, you guessed it. I Lysol-ed my smelly pit and know what? It worked like a charm!

The lesson learned here is to always carry antiperspirant on chair gigs and to load up on it on days that I know I'll be stressed out!

Blooper #5

Sometimes we get people wanting specific music played during massage, right?

I was pleased to have one of my clients request Pink Floyd since they're one of my favorite bands, so I put on Dark Side of the Moon.
The lesson learned is to NOT play this CD if your client has a habit of falling asleep during the massage. Although it starts of nice and slow, there's one point in the middle of the CD where alarm clocks are played very loudly. The client jumped up, startled, with the daylights scared out of her when the alarm bells woke her up.
It was kind of funny though.....

Blooper #4

This one happened on a chair massage gig and it really isn't that funny, but there's a lesson to be learned.

I was working on someones shoulders during the chair massage when I realized I was rubbing the color off her sweater. Yep, turns out the stuff I was using either to sanitize my hands or clean the face cradle (I think it was the cleaner) was taking the color off her clothes. I'd to give her money to replace the sweater.

Lesson to be learned: check your hands and make sure you've no cleaning materials on them before starting a new client. Also, check the hand sanitizer to make sure it won't remove coloring from clothes.

Blooper #1, #2, #3

OK, so on massageprofessionals.com there's a group where we write about bloopers in massage and I've written 3 on there already. I never wrote about them on here, so I'm re-posting them here so that those that aren't on that group can read about them here. Then I'll add more on here and just put a link to them from their site so that I don't take up that much room on their wall.

Capiche?

It's sad that I've got so many of these stories. I'll start posting the other ones after this....

OK, here are the ones I have posted already:

#1
I'm from Northern Ireland and over there "Erasers" are called "Rubbers". So when changing a client's appointment time in front of her I forgot what country I was in and said I needed to find a rubber before I could change anything. It was a few seconds before I realized what I had just said. I then had to explain (with a very red face) what a rubber was where I come from. She came back anyway!

#2
The following incident happened when I was working out of my home and it's a reminder to always ask the client if they want to use the restroom before leaving them to get ready.

I left the client to get on the table and went to the kitchen to warm up my rice back warmer. My house isn't totally open plan in that you can't see the kitchen if you come out of the room I did massage in, but you can hear what is going on. it took a couple of minutes to warm up the back warmer.
So I'm talking to myself in the kitchen and I come out and the client is standing there wanting to know if she can use my restroom.
The thing is, it's not so much that she caught me talking to myself - it's what I was saying.
I was practicing my Sean Connery impersonation.


#3
OK, here's another one that happened on a home visit. Luckily I'd been working on the couple for years (and still do) but there's a lesson to be learned from this one too.

I was setting up for the massage in one of their bedrooms. I'm sure they wondered when they heard me yelp pretty loudly. The woman comes into the room and finds me standing very awkwardly - I think I look like I was playing twister by myself, but without the actual game. I also had a very red face.
"What's wrong?"
"Um...well...underneath my right foot there is a bug. Could you do me a favor and get me a tissue?"
She gets me the tissue and I very quickly get the bug and squish it (apologies to any Buddhists reading this). Luckily there wasn't too much of a "bug gut" issue on their carpet!

OK, this doesn't sound too bad, right?

The thing is, this was a HUGE freakin' mutant cockroach that had come FLYING off MY sheets when I was shaking them on the the table AND HIT ME ON THE HEAD before landing on the floor.
Thankfully the client didn't get to see the thing. Nor did she ask where the thing had come from.
I used to work in software debugging code. Now when I do an home visit I do a little different type of checking to make sure I don't have to debug in the literal sense - I also make sure I don't ever put my bag in the garage.

It's labor day weekend.....

.....and I was expecting to do very little work today.

But I did 5 hours of massage and 2 of the 5 were new clients. I've a home visit tomorrow to work on a couple. That's not too bad for a holiday weekend - normally people are too busy going to the lake or somewhere nice.

I better go and throw some sheets in the wash....

I know I shouldn't get peeved.....

....but there's yet another new massage franchise place opening up near me. I got a letter today from them since they're hiring and they're offering $17 a massage. I just wonder if they're going to be successful in hiring therapists at all. I know I couldn't make a living at that rate without risk of injury. But then I'm old. Maybe I could have done it in my 20's. I worked like a dog for a few years in the hotel industry in my 20's, working in restaurants and cleaning rooms, so maybe it's just an age thing.


This new one is advertising massages at even lower rates than the one that everyone knows (I don't feel like improving their positioning on search engines by mentioning their name in a massage related blog!). Yep, their introductory price is $29.95 for a 1 hour massage. And USUALLY I don't get my knickers in a twist over the price cutting by the franchises, but C'MON, $29.95??????

But I've got to look at this in a way that I can get positive and proactive. The fact is that I can't do anything about them, but all I can do is make sure that everyone that comes to me knows that they get their money's worth when it comes to getting great customer service, extra attention to detail and a massage that is worth twice the amount they pay at that franchise. In essence, I have to be doubly better than them in every aspect.

Amen.

Now how do I do that again?

I've been in the States 15 years....

....and I'd never seen a $2 bill 'til last week.
Someone gave me it in their tip.
I never knew such a thing existed!

I learn a new thing every day.

Massage Therapy and Swine Flu

If you wake up looking like this RESCHEDULE ALL YOUR CLIENTS. (NOTE: This does not apply if you already look like this before the outbreak.)

Networking to a More Prosperous End of Year

Yep, networking.
I don't know what most MT's think, but networking just "ain't my bag".
Don't get me wrong. It's not like I don't like people. If I didn't like people I wouldn't work in this field. But LARGE GROUPS of people?
And getting up and speaking in front of those LARGE GROUPS of people in a way that is supposed to grab their attention? Well, let's just say, the prospect doesn't exactly fill me with joys of spring.

A client of mine who worked as a corporate trainer once told me that there are two types of people when it comes to handling groups. There are those people that love to be around groups of people and they get re-energized from them. Then there are the second group that get re-energized from being on their own. The first group are extroverts, the latter introverts. Introverts can relate to people on a one on one basis very well. Extroverts handle groups better. BUT you can have a job dealing with groups, but actually be an introvert. She trained hundreds of people in big groups, but at the end of the day she had to be on her own to re-energize. She said that learning to deal with groups is just a matter of exposure. The more you do it, the easier it gets. So I've just got to keep on doing it. Thing is, when you get out of the way of doing it, going back to it can be hard!


Networking groups are good for business. I know this and I'm sure most small business owners know it too.
I've experienced it first hand and when I started my business I got to know the ins and outs of it. Consistency is a big thing. When I was consistent about going to one group and got to know people, I'd get clients. But over the past year or so I let it slip. My client base had got to where I didn't feel I needed to keep it up. It was a mistake to let it slip.

Last Saturday I ran into someone I knew from one of the networking groups I went to. I told her I was actually a member of the city's chamber of commerce, but didn't go to their meetings. She then said that she would start calling me on Friday mornings to make sure I was going. I like the lady since she has a good positive vibe about her and she speaks her mind about everything. She pointed out that I was wasting the membership dues if I wasn't going to the networking meetings.
I had a good think. I had got some referrals from their website which basically paid for the dues, but I wasn't making the most of the membership. Basically this was like getting a gym membership and never going. And just like going back to the gym can lead to sore muscles, I needed to get back into going and just get over that initial discomfort. So I've made a mid-year resolution to start going.

I think my running into the lady was one of those weird "universey thingies" that happens. (As Einstein says "Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous"). My reason for this is because I had made it my goal to sell twice as many Christmas gift certificates this year over last year. I had only written this goal down a few days before running into her and I think that going to the Chamber meetings is going to be one approach in hitting that goal. There were at least 100 people at the meeting this morning and NOT ONE MASSAGE THERAPIST was there. So my "cunning plan" (sorry - Black Adder fan) is to be consistent about going and by the time December runs around my face will be well enough known to where people will consider buying certificates off me. I'll also give a discount to Chamber members. The other thing that will work in my favor is the fact that the lady who told me I should go knows a lot of people there so I'll give her referral cards and tell her for every 5 she send me, I'll give her a massage. She has had a couple of massages from me, so she knows who/what/where she is referring to.

My theory is that sometimes we've to do things that put us out of our comfort zone just to know ourselves a bit better and to make progress in business. And sometimes we get a wee nudge from somewhere directing us into that situation. My hope is that when December comes around I'll be back into the "groove" and my palms WON'T be sweating when I stand for my 30 minute commercial.

All I've got to do is practice..........

Ever had one of those days.....

....when your cranium seems to be stuck up your gluteal cleft?

Well, I've just had one of those. I'm glad it's over.

I messed up SO bad with my first client, I'm embarrassed to even write about it, so I'm not going to.
Thankfully the client is a very regular regular and I think she'll still come back!

Freaky hand gif that I sort of like and I don't know why.....

Maybe it's because I'd actually love to have that many hands? But only if it wasn't viewed as freaky. But then if I was to worry about the freak factor, then what does that say about me? Just a conformist that worries about what people think?

That's enough ponderin' for now.....it's making my braincell hurt.

Heard this today....

"You've got REALLY strong hands"

I bet most MTs hear that a lot, but it's still nice to hear it from clients. Thing is, my hands may be strong, but the lateral rotators of my hip are hanging down the back of my knees!

I need to get those lateral rotators to the gym!

Gaelic lesson #68 "lamh laidir", pronounced "lam lieder", meaning "strong hand"

There should be a significant reduction in my butt size...

....since it's being worked off me these days.


I definitely think the move was a good idea. My regulars seem to be re-energized and are booking more frequently and I'm starting to see more business come from just being in the new place. It was a LONG day today. I've another long one tomorrow - start at 8:30 am and finish at 9 p.m. I've a big break in the middle of the afternoon though, so I'll be OK, but it's still a loooonnnnggg day.

One other thing I've noticed is that the move has made me re-assess my workflow and processes and the like. It's a good thing - forced me to have a fresh eye on the way I do everything from documentation to preparing for a session.

Yep, sometimes change is good.

How come my list is never ending?

The list in question is "things to do".

Moving has added to the list, obviously, but when I take one thing off there seems to be more things added. One thing that has come to my attention is the number of listings for my business on the internet that I never entered. Some of them have the wrong address. So far I've found about 30 on sites that I knew nothing about - some of them have the business in 2 neighboring towns on streets I've never heard of.
I think one of the reasons is because I have a registered DBA for the business so I'm going to have to go to the county court house and see about it. My theory is that their database is incorrect or has been copied and then stomped on by some other entity that sells business addresses. I think the location change involves re-registering the DBA. Hopefully it will propagate into the sites with the bad info.

Anyone else have this problem?

2 Questions:

Who else has pulled back the sheet and found this?

Ever had the experience of getting a "footy" smell in your nose and it stays with you all day? It doesn't matter how much lavender oil you throw around you, it's just there, and it's not leaving?
I think there's been an invisible sock under my nose all day - with wings and a mission to annoy the crap outa me.

I'm off to use a neti pot......

Just because it's been a couple of posts since a Star Trek reference has been made...

It's true, sometimes Vulcan grips can be overdone.

So much for customer service.....

You know how I just moved into this new place that has about 8 or 9 rooms for MTs and aestheticians ?

Well, on Saturday I had something strange happen that made me wonder about the MT that used to be across the hallway from me. Apparently she moved out not so long ago. Her sign is still above her door. I never met her, so she has been gone at least 3 weeks since it was 3 weeks ago that I looked at rooms there and hers was one of the options shown to me.
On Saturday my first appointment was leaving and I was waiting for her getting dressed in the little waiting area. There was a lady sitting in the area and we just started chatting about this and that.
Then my client came out and we got her sorted for her next appointment etc.
The waiting lady then said "Do you know if Kaye will be available soon?" And I said there was no one by the name of Kaye that worked here. I checked the sign above the door to see what the name was on there - sure enough, it was Kaye.

This lady had been calling her multiple times, wanting to know where she was at since she had an appointment with her that had been set up weeks ago. Apparently Kaye must have been even more disorganized than me!
Anyway, at that time I had a wee break, so I offered to work on her and told her that I wasn't trying to "steal" her away. She had a hair appointment later in the main salon, so it worked out OK - we did 40 minutes work on her arms, neck and back. At first she was feeling bad about Kaye "maybe" waiting for her somewhere else, but from what I hear about the therapist, she didn't have that many clients. You'd think that she would have been able to answer her phone at least. I think it was pretty bad form not telling her booked clients where she had gone to. And there was no indication where Kaye went to at the salon- no one seems to know anything about her.
Anyway, this new lady booked another appointment with me next Saturday. I've got a challenge on my hands since she was diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome, so I'm on a mission. I'm also curious as to whether or not her former MT will call her back at all during this week. My bet is that she doesn't.

Maybe the fact that Kaye is neglecting her clients might be a good thing for me in this instance since I think I've got a new client, but on the thought that any MT would just leave their clients out in the cold like that just annoys me. It's just uncool and it tends reflect the profession in a bad way. But then again, maybe this was just a one shot deal and there is an logical explanation for it. Maybe Kaye is the unflakiest MT on the planet and this was just one mistake. I hope my presumptions about her are all wrong.

I'll keep you posted on whether she calls her back.....

Gaelic lesson #67 "Ca bhfuil tu?" pronounced "Ka will too", meaning "Where are you?"

Oh well......I kinda deserve it

I'm sitting here in my wee massage room, having just been no-showed.
The reason why is totally my fault and I shouldn't beat myself up about it, but hey, when you've lost $60 through being inefficient and disorganized, that's what happens!

Part of the reason was that I didn't remind the client that I would be here instead of my old place. I had told him after his last appointment (2 weeks ago) but I bet he forgot and was knocking on my door of the house. I sent his wife a reminder email this morning, but I bet she hasn't checked her email lately (I don't have his). Secondly, I forgot to put a note on that door (just in case). Thirdly, my client records haven't all been shifted over here, so I haven't got access to his phone number here - it's in a file on my desk by my computer AT HOME. I should have all my regular email and phone numbers plugged into my new fancy smancy phone, but I haven't got 'round to doing that yet.

The other weird thing is that this client is the only client that calls my home phone and I bet he was calling it - while sitting outside my home!

Sometimes not-so-great things happen for a reason. Organizing my client's information and getting all my stuff moved needs to be a priority, as is getting all their contact info into the iPhone.

One other thing I've noticed is that being no-showed here is totally different from being no-showed at the home office. I was twiddling my thumbs for quite a while. So the fact that there is not time wasting brought into the mix will be further motivation for me to get better organized......

We'll see how it goes!

gotta go here - at least I've 2 more clients to go. Just hope they show up!

Hmmmmm.......

I've encountered my first (and hopefully my only) odd thing at the new place.
I'm in ABMP and as a wee perk that I get this wee free magazine twice a year that is specifically written and designed to put in waiting rooms of massage clinics/spas. It's more like a health magazine that has interesting articles, one of which is always gauged towards educating the waiting client on massage. It's a cool little magazine.

Anyway.......when I worked at home, I'd sometimes have couples wait on each other getting in my living room, and it was handy for that. Since the area that I'm working in now has it's own waiting area that is to serve the aestheticians and MTs only (the hair stylists and nail techs are all in a separate area), I decided to bring in the current magazine along with a couple of other generic mags. I put a stamp of my business (name, website, number) on the front of the mag - they have specifically designed it that way to do so.

I brought the Summer 2009 one in on Thursday. By Thursday lunchtime it was GONE. The other mags I'd brought in were still there (my stamp isn't on them). So I brought the Winter 2008 one in on Saturday. Again, today it is GONE.

So maybe I'm being paranoid here, but maybe someone doesn't like the fact that I've got my mag out there with my business name on them. It may also be that the clients took the mag home, but it was the speed at which they went that makes me a little paranoid. Plus the fact all but one of the other mags are still there ("Health" magazine also disappeared over the past couple of days).
Or maybe it's just such a good mag that it was immediately snatched up?

Anyhoo, I checked with the manager (who is very good - that's one of the great things about this place - it has a great manager) to see if it was OK for me to put the mag around the whole place (they've got many magazine stands out in the hair/nail area), and she said it was fine, so I ordered half a dozen more (they're only a buck a piece to ABMP members). It'll be interesting to see how fast they disappear from the main area - I'll try another one in the little waiting room too.

Velllllly intellesting.....
I've put WAY too many parenthesis in this post. Sorry about that!

Gaelic lesson #66: "feithealann", pronounced "feyalon", meaning "waiting room"

The only thing I have to fear is fear itself.

Yep, FDR's words are applying to me these days since I moved my business location this week. It's a change, but I believe it is for the better. It's a wee bit scary too!

I am no longer working out of my home. I'm renting a room at a place that is very near my home which has a separate area for massage therapists and aestheticians that has it's own little waiting area. I had a few reasons for the move. Firstly, my husband was getting fed up with not having his home available to him and he couldn't take vacation time if I was working all the time - especially since I work a lot in the evenings. Secondly, I think that I was going a little stir crazy with being in the house all the time, especially on busy days. Sometimes I wouldn't leave the house at all. And thirdly, I just wanted to try something different to see if it is easier to market my business with a different location. Even though I have a fairly decent client base and I think I have a good return rate, it's getting people in for that first massage that was difficult. I think it will be easier to do in this new place and it might give my practice a more professional initial feel. I get a lot of hits on my website, but I think people are reluctant to go try someone in their home - since most of my clients are referred by existing clients, I think I should get more people other ways. It will be interesting to see if I get more newbies from the website.

So I got a floor covering down in the room over the weekend and moved my stuff in on Monday. I was pretty busy on Tuesday and Wednesday and so far my regulars have been positive about the new location. The room is considerably smaller than what I've been working in, but it is forcing me to think of things that I really NEED rather than junk that was accumulating in the room I've been working in. I'm amazed at how much crap I've gathered up over the years. Old massage oils and lotions that I tried and didn't like (why did I keep them?) and tools and little do-dahs that I thought might be interesting to try. I need to have a garage sale for MTs only!


The new place has a shower facility so I can still do some foo foo stuff (salt glows and wraps) and it will be interesting to see if I sell more of them than I did at home. The only thing I can't do is a foot soak since the room isn't big enough to do that, but then soaks were only to get people's feet clean for a reflexology treatment and I can use hot towels for the same purpose - plus cleaning the foot soak thingy was a pain in the neck anyway, so I won't miss it.
The other major change is that I won't have my PC in the next room ready to check my email for people wanting appointments BUT SINCE MY HUSBAND BOUGHT ME AN IPHONE FOR MY BIRTHDAY (which is today and the capital letters is me bragging, yes, I have been assimilated into the iPhone Borg ship), I can check my email through it instead.


The place seems to be fairly quiet. The manager is nice and my next room neighbor is a massage therapist who seems to be very professional and cool. On the other side of me is an aesthetician who seems pretty nice too. She's even sending me 2 of her clients on Saturday which is a good thing in my book!


So we'll see how it goes. If I get on here in a few days ranting and raving about how much I hate it, then I'll just have to grin and get on with it since I've signed the lease for the year. I don't think that will happen though. My initial feel over the past couple of days has been a good one.

OK, I'm off to change a load of online listings!

Gaelic lesson #65 "eagla", pronounced "agla", meaning "fear"

Braveheartical thoughts......

OK.....so back to my movie-soundtracks-played-during-massage-even-though-I'm-starting-to-come-to-the-conclusion-I-shouldn't.

Yes, I'm still playing that playlist.

One track on my massage compilation playlist is called "For the Love of a Princess". You can hear a wee snippet with the little doo-dah at the side of the page - along with other tracks that I've referred to in previous posts. (Plus if you hit the "massage music" label below you'll see those other incredibly boring posts) . It has a bit of a Celtic-y feel to it, which one of the reasons I like it, plus it's nice and slow.

So you might think "What's better than the thought of long haired men in skirts who go a little overboard with blue eyeshadow?" Yes, that thought may come into the client's mind, but there may another:

What's more relaxing than the thought of some guy getting tortured by having his gut ripped open and his intestines pulled out of him like a string of sausages?

Not all that relaxing an image, is it?

Mind you, I think if it was possible to temporarily pull out the client's intestines it would be mighty handy for iliopsoas work!


Gaelic lesson #64 "aghaidhe gorm", pronounced "agee gurm", meaning "blue face"

How do you massage away grief?

One of my clients passed away at the weekend. She was a lovely lady and had a good vibe about her and I was sad to hear she had passed. She was referred to me by another client who is one of my favorite clients and the both of them were good friends.

I felt bad for my client this morning since I know she's hurting and I wish there was something I could do for her.

It's a pity there wasn't a "rip out grief" massage. I'd be all over that.

No Gaelic lesson today.......I'll get back to it in my next post.

It's official...Massage Therapists have the Best Job on the Planet

OK, so guess what the above picture is.
Here's a clue:
Today I spent the day in an aromatherapy class and this was one of the pictures that was shown to us during the class.
Cool, isn't it? I bet someone will get it.

It was a GREAT class. The teacher , Katharine Koeppen, is a registered aromatherapist and it was obvious that she really knows her stuff. I wanted to do a Vulcan mind meld with her (I can't write too many posts without putting a Star Trek reference in here somewhere) so that I could get just a smidgen of the knowledge she knows about the subject. I've come away with a ton of new info, some new oils and a want to learn more - not only for my own clients, but for my own use too. The students in the class were cool too. It was interesting in that there were two people in the class that are not massage therapists - yet another sign that it is becoming more popular.

The fact that we get to use oils in our work just reminds me that we have the best job on the planet. Why? Because it's just COOL!

I'm off to slather some customized oil that I made for myself on the soles of my feet so that I will dream of Brad mistaking me for Angelina (well, there wasn't actually an oil for that......but there's always hope!).

Gaelic lesson #63 "briongloid", pronounced "bringloyd", meaning "dream"

Your Head "Post" Massage

OK, so maybe most clients don't look quite as bad as the Phil fella, but you have to admit, some do look like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards. I know I do. In fact, the more "dragged through the hedge" looking, the better the massage.


SOOOO when I had a "think" about this problem I decided to get some combs with my business name printed on them and put up a wee sign in my room with some pics of people having a particularly bad hair day with "Got Massage Hair? Have a Comb With My Compliments" on it. I keep having to fill up the comb box - it seems to work well with my clients and I know they like getting free stuff. Giving them some goodies with the business name on it is good in my book.

Taking this FURTHER, I decided to make up a wee box of combs for my hairstylist. Instead of me having a funny sign with bad hair, I made up a sensible one with my logo. I attached a business card holder to the display thingy with referral cards that are specific for my hairstylist ("Terri's clients get $10 off their first massage") and on the back of the card I had a map showing people how to get to my place. Combs and hairstylists go together, right?

At the time I thought this was marketing genius. I actually thought my hair was going to be singed from the brilliant big idea bulb going off above it.

That was 4 weeks ago. I still haven't had 1 referral from it. That's what I get for thinking it was marketing genius!


Oh well.......gotta keep on trying!

Gaelic lesson #62 "gruaig", pronounced "grewig", meaning "hair"

A Reminder to all of us to ALWAYS GIVE GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE...

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb Celebrating July 4th

Just in case you don't know it- AMERICA ROCKS. Artie knows it!

Ughhh.....

Hard-sellers. Salesmen. Online social sites. Condescending attitudes. I've just been verbally bombarded by all of them today.

I got a call today from someone that has some sort of internet radio thing, where they interview me, then they take that interview and "set up" pages for me on facebook, myspace and twitter. The lead in was the fact that I'd have a recorded "interview" in which I could talk about the benefits of massage and aspects of my business. When they first talked to me it sounded like they just wanted to interview me on an online talk show, which sounded good to me, but of course, if it sounds good then it's usually too good to be true. This whole thing where they do the twitter/facebook/MySpace thingy was added in later in the conversation. This whole thing would of course "promote my business, get me more clients and have my current clients coming back more often".


Of course, I found out after I'd talked to them for a while that they'd charge me. First price was $250, then they went down to $99 and I was passed off to someone else to try to do more selling. The first dude said that he needed to know today since his job could be on the line if I didn't get signed up and he also said that I was late in calling him back (they'd left a message on my voicemail saying they wanted to interview me initially). Ooops. Really? My bad. I was a bit confused since was I not the one supposed to be enticed into giving him money? Was the way to do it through "guilt"?


The second dude I was passed on to sounded like he had shiny shoes and goop in his hair. If there's one piece of advice that I would pass on to young women everywhere it's NEVER TRUST A MAN WITH SHINY SHOES AND GOOP IN HIS HAIR. He was Mr. Smooth salesman that talked to me as if I'd the intelligence of a neanderthal.


When is it ever good to try to sell something through talking to someone as if they haven't a clue? When is it ever good to tell someone that they have put someone in a difficult spot and their job is on the line if they don't buy whatever it is their selling?


In the end I just told them that I just didn't want to use twitter or facebook for business uses. I really wanted to tell them that if I did want to use it then I think I could figure out how to do it myself since all those sites are set up so that neanderthals could actually set up accounts. But I held back. I wasn't rude. Maybe the pint of whiskey I had for lunch helped.

It's got to the point where I don't answer my phone if it doesn't have a local area code. This is just one example of why I've decided to do that.

Gaelic lesson "61 "uisce beatha" pronounced "ishke vaha", meaning "whiskey"

Who says?

"Who says 'that time of the month has to be every month'? Who says? Who says?"

MOTHER NATURE, THAT'S WHO !!!!!!!

The T.V. ad for that new pill is really annoying me. Most ads for prescription drugs annoy me to some degree, but this one is really irking my mellow calmness.

Next thing you know we'll be seeing:

"Who says we need to have a bowel movement every day? Who says?"

Maybe that's actually part of the problem - maybe the pill makers are using another pill that makes them "full of it" - ye know?

Gaelic lesson #60"socair", pronounced "sucker", meaning "calm" (yep, irony is lovely)

Why?

Why do people think that they can get in to get a massage on the same day they call, especially if they call in the afternoon expecting to get in during the busiest part of the day (5 p.m. or after)?

I could understand it if they'd call a place that has multiple therapists. I could also understand it if they have called before and have got in, but when they have called a lone therapist MULTIPLE times in the past and have not got in MULTIPLE times in the past (because, lo and behold, most people actually book ahead of time which is why I get booked up in the evenings), would you not think that they would learn to book in advance? Why?

Gaelic lesson #59 "abair liom cad chuige", pronounced "aber yum kad hooigah", meaning "tell me why"

I heart Constant Contact

I do.

I was late getting myself organized for Father's Day this year as far as advertising specials. BUT I got a little constant contact email sent out on Tuesday which took about 20 minutes to put together and got $420 worth of gift certificate sales just from it alone. I love the way they have it formatted to where you just have to tweak a few things, upload a couple of images and add a bit of text, some paypal buttons and there you have it - people can buy the GCs online without me ever having to meet them. I either email them the certificate or pop a card to the recipient in the mail.

I love the Internet. If the Internet was to be re-manifested as a human, I'd buy him/her a pint of Guinness (or several hundred).

Gaelic lesson #58 "pointa", pronounced "point-cha", meaning "pint"

Some squirrels really love Tapotement

Squirrels are smart

Practice what they preach?

Saw this bumper sticker today:

"Doctors should teach nutrition
Not pharmaceutical addiction"

Thing is, the car that had it was at the drive through window at Braums - not a whole lot of good nutritious stuff on their drive through menu.

Just seemed weird.....

Gaelic lesson #57 "uachtar oighir", pronounced "oochter eeher", meaning "ice cream"

Simple things.

I went out driving at lunchtime today and I saw this little Chinese man on a bicycle. He was probably in his 70's and he looked really fit. He looked as happy as a clam too - big smile from ear to ear as he was pedaling away. I wondered if he'd just received some good news or if he was always that happy.
I'd just seen him when I came up to a red light. I looked out the window and there's this young fella on a really flash, expensive motorbike. He was obviously annoyed that he was at a red light and was sitting on his flash bike cursing and going on. Fancy bike, fancy clothes, but obviously in a foul mood.

So I sat there and wondered who I'd rather hang out with. That one was a no-brainer - even if the wee Chinese dude and I couldn't communicate, I'd rather be in his company, plus the fact that Mr Flash-bike didn't have on a helmet indicated that he had little brains to protect.

Then I wondered if I had to swap places with one of them in body and life, who would I choose to be? That one is a bit harder!

Gaelic lesson #56 "sonas', pronounced "soan-is", meaning "happiness"

A sign that Aromatherapy is becoming more popular...

I just worked on a client who had just purchased a lot of oils and she was excited about using them in her home and as a natural alternative for many uses, including as an insect repellent for her kid. So we talked about the best carrier oils and uses of some of the oils. I was impressed that she was getting into it so much and not just viewing it as something that her MT uses in her massage session. She said she's become inspired by watching "Everybody Nose" on Veria T.V. I have to admit that I've never watched it, but apparently an aromatherapist talks about different recipes for different uses on it.

There are 2 Veria Wellness centers here in the DFW area. I know they're a big operation and if I'm not mistaken I think that Veria actually owns Massage Envy.
I'm amazed a the fact that they have their own channel on FIOS. (I think it's channel 162 in this area).

I'm going to check out the show. I think it's great that it's educating the viewer on the use of aromatherapy for everyday use. Maybe some day everyone will be using oils for most uses in the home rather than chemically loaded alternatives.

Well, we can dream!

Gaelic lesson #55 "ola", pronounced the way it looks!, meaning "oil"

A Texas Massage Therapist's Garden in June.....

I know I shouldn't brag, but here's the deal. I think a couple of my neighbors have hydrangea envy.

Roses are my favorite. The rose at the top was put in a long stem vase in the massage room and I've noticed that when most people come into the room, they will "take time out to smell the roses" and "BOOM" - they're instantly in a better mood.

So I reckon we should all be tweaked a wee bit and have rosebushes growing out of our armpits. How handy would that be?

Someone cuts you off in traffic? Have a wee sniff of the armpit and you'll instantly feel better.
Come across some crappy customer service? Raise your arm and have a whiff of loveliness.
Some sporting events would become a veritable flower show. Volleyball games would be rose gardens on a court.

I tell you one thing though - after the day I've had today the one thing my pits DON'T smell like at the minute are roses. I'm off to have a shower.

Gaelic lesson #54 "blath", pronounced "bla", meaning "flower"

People.....

...are nice.
Generally.

Especially my clients.
Clients that I've been working on for a long time will sometimes bring me wee presents or lend me books to read, which really brightens my day. Today a client brought me a wee shamrock in a pot - which is great since I used to have a shamrock plant that died last year. This was the first time I'd met this lady, so it really surprised me.

Yes. People are nice. Generally.

Gaelic lesson #53 "deas', pronounced "jas", meaning "nice"

I can't believe I got "irked" again......

......BY THE SAME PEOPLE!

Seriously, the same people that called me on my home phone the other day CALLED ME AGAIN. ON MY HOME PHONE. The conversation went something like this.....

"I'm calling from blh-blh-blah to verify a listing on some-online-thing and I need your information"
"Yes, here's a question. Why are you calling me on my home phone when I told you the telephone number for my business the other day?"
"Yes, but before we update our information, we need verification"
"What more verification do you need? I told you the business phone number, all you need to do is update your wrong phone number. Plus if you really wanted to verify it, you would call the business number I gave you to verify that it's right".
"But we need to go through a process"
"OK, OK OK..go ahead and waste 5 minutes of both our lives by asking me some questions"

so...5 minutes later after I've told her my business phone number 3 or 4 times (remembering that I've a funny accent, she has a funny accent and the number "5" cannot be understood by either party) and answered some other questions which I had already answered the other day.

"What type of phone connection do you have"
"Why do you need to know that?"
"pshe msiije sjiioe ythio" (she'd a really funny accent)
"I'm sorry?
"Do you have any other phone numbers for the business?"
"Nope"
"No other phones?" (said in an incredulous tone)
"Nope. I've a cell phone for the business, which is actually the phone that I should be talking to on since we're talking about business related business"
"OK, thank you" and she hung up


That was it? After 5 minutes of trying to get the numbers right for the actual phone she should be calling, she hangs up after finding out I've only got a cell phone for the business and no others?

I'm just a weeeeeee tiny fish!

I can't believe how easily I become irked by this though since I could feel myself turn into a narky beeotch. I need to watch that. I don't like it. So now I'm imagining some telemarketer somewhere putting pins in a doll with my name on it since I was so narky! My leg will just fall off any minute when she pulls the leg off the thing.

As a result of this whole screw up, I googled my business name. I got a lot of references, most of which are right BUT sure enough, some online directory which I didn't add my business to personally has the wrong phone number. Oh joy of joys!

Gaelic lesson #52 "Bhi drochaoibh orm", pronounced "Vee drok-eev orum", meaning "I was in a bad mood"

Something in the water..?

Seems that everyone and their dog is looking for a massage this week. What's the deal?

I just finished a 2 hour session that included a half hour reflexology, 1 hour massage and then a half hour face toning massage.

The face toning massage is interesting. It involves following a protocol of about 25 strokes, repeated a certain number of times for each stroke and each "set" is done about 3 times. Normally I don't like anything where I'm just following a pattern and I've to "switch off" my hands as far as being in search (and destroy) mode, but I do something to keep my mind active for remembering the strokes, which is interesting. When my bud Kelli and I were doing the course in Face Toning we made up a little story to remember the strokes. It's a mad story involving Harry Potter playing Pacman and Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas' love life (part of it is a bit crude - needless to say). BUT the wee crazy story sticks. I remember the pattern and sequence of strokes. It works.

Anyway.....if the first sentence of this post is actually true, I should go look at doing a course in doggy massage.

Next client will be here in 2 minutes.
Gaelic lesson #51: "Ta me gnothach", pronoucned "ta may no-hoch", meaning "I am busy"

"Irk"iness ain't good.....

Yesterday I got a phone call to my home phone from a telemarketer looking for someone at my business.

So rather than do the usual handling of telemarketers on my home phone (start saying the Lord's Prayer to them in Gaelic - gets rid of them and gets a bit of praying in at the same time - multi-tasking is fab), I needed to know where they got their their database info since having some database somewhere with my business name and a non-business number is just unacceptable.

What ensued should have been recorded.

Imagine one person with a funny accent on one end and another on the other (and I might be biased here, but the Irish chick could speak WAY better English) and on one side all the person is wanting to know is where the information on the database was retrieved from SO THAT IT COULD BE FIXED. Meanwhile, the person with the REALLY funny accent on the other end is trying to get the Irish chick to sign up for some online listing on some directory which is free at first, but then charges something like $49.99 (not $50, that would be too much) per month - daylight freakin' robbery.

I ended up being not very massage-therapisty on the phone. I was irked big time and I don't like being irked!

On the one hand I should be sympathetic to the telemarketer trying to do a job, but on the other, the fact that their info was wrong would affect my business in a bad way - I don't want potential client's calling my home phone. I get really annoyed when people don't listen and sit and follow a script that's put in front of them, if for no other fact that it shows that not only are they trying to brainwash whoever listens to them, but they have been brainwashed themselves. You'd have thought that if someone had started to ask them questions that their brain would actually kick into motion again.

That's my rant for the month!

Gaelic lesson #50

Lord's Prayer in Irish Ár nAthair atá ar neamh, Our Father, who art in Heaven go naofar d'ainm; hollowed be thy Name go dtaga do ríocht; Thy kingdom come go ndéantar do thoil ar an talamh Thy will be done on earth mar a dhéantar ar neamh. as it is in Heaven Ár n-arán laethúil tabhair dúinn inniu; give us this day our daily bread agus maith dúinn ár bhfiacha and forgive us our trespasses mar a mhaithimidne dár bhféichiúna féin; as we forgive those who trespass against us agus ná lig sinn i gcathú, and lead us not into temptation ach saor sinn ó olc. Amen. but deliver us from evil. Amen.

lesson

Pronunciation: This wee woman takes care of it: watch!

Just wondering......

What do you think?
On the one "hand" Wolverine does have his pluses - nearly too many to mention, BUT if he gets a bit annoyed at anything then the client's TrPs would have a little too much done to them (they'd be seared by W's claws) SO the client had better not break wind - which isn't really a relaxing situation to be in.
Terminator dude's hands would be pretty darn strong. Of course he'd need something covering them and a heightened level of tactile sensitivity - plus he'd need to be reprogrammed to terminate just the trigger points and not the whole human.

I dunno - it's a tough one.

(FYI: The new Terminator movie is brilliant.)
Gaelic lesson #49 "crag", pronoucned "crawg", meaning "claw"

It's good golfing weather....

....and Quadratus Lumborums everywhere are feeling it.


Q: What answer will you get if you ask a massage therapist about their opinion on the best sport to take up?
A: Varies, but the MTs that say "golf" are probably putting business first!

Gaelic lesson #48 "stangadh droma", pronounced "stanga droma", meaning "back strain"

A Massage therapist's Right Thumb looking for J.R.

Annie Liebowitz, eat your heart out!

Yes, people, that IS Southfork in the background and YES, that IS a wee cowboy hat on Artie.

No sign of J.R. I think he's too busy putting up solar panels.

If you're wondering why the picture is so bad, it's because the cops out Southfork direction don't like it when cars stop along the road in front of it to take pictures, so I had to take it really fast!

Can you imagine the conversation if I had been "caught"?

"S'cuse me, ma'am, why are you stopped along this road?"
"I'm taking a picture of my thumb with a cowboy hat on with Southfork in the background."
Just how would the conversation progress from there?

Gaelic lesson #47 "fear glas", pronounced "far glass", meaning "green grass" - Texas looks like Ireland these days since we've been having so much rain!

Question of the day

Am I the only female on the planet that has never seen an episode of American Idol? My husband doesn't watch it either. I believe there's only him and a goat-herder called Cvwenk on the outskirts of the Gobi desert that are the only other ones on the planet that don't tune in for it - and that's only because Cvwenk's tivo set is broken.

Gaelic lesson #46 "gabhar", pronounced "gavar", meaning "goat"

Playing with mud and fighting a fomentek

I did a mud wrap today. I don't do many wraps, but they're interesting since I think I kind of like wrapping people up like turkeys - think it appeals to my control-freaky side. Anyway, I tried something different today. I really don't want the client to get cold, since I have had a wrap before when I've been cold and I've decided I'd rather be frying my own spleen than have a cold wrap (well maybe not, but you get the point). So cold wrapped-up clients are unacceptable in this neck of the woods.

NORMALLY I use heated rice bags that I normally use as back warmers in massage. I put them in with the client when I'm wrapping them up to keep them nice and toasty. But today I decided to try out my fomentek bag. The directions say that I've to fill it up only a third of the way full with hot water.

This bag is massive. At least, it FELT like it was massive. When I brought it into the room I sat it on my wee useful table that I use for lots of things (that's why it's called my "wee useful table"). So water being water-like, the bag took on a new life of it's own and slowly rolled off the table. So I put it on the dresser and the bag sort of became like something out of Dr. Who and decided to go and have a walk around it too. It made all these scary noises while doing this, so the client had to check out what sort of Alien had come into the room - head up, looking around, worried vibes.

Anyway, I got it under control in the end and it worked well at keeping the client warm. She cooked up lovely. All I needed was to throw a few spuds and carrots around her and it would have been a cannibal's Christmas. The client was happy with the experience and when they're happy, I'm happy. Playing with mud is fun!

Gaelic lesson #45 "uisce", pronounced "ishke", meaning "water"

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb watching hockey

Injury prevention is always at the top of Artie's mind, even when relaxing. The reason is obvious: injured thumb = not able to work = no income = starve to death on the street.

So Artie is extra careful, even if it just looks like that puck is going to come flying out of the T.V. screen, it's good to have a thumb-sized helmet.

Gaelic lesson #44 "haca", pronounced "hawk-a" meaning "hockey"

1945....1945.....1945

Remember that number.

They talk about that year on the History channel a lot, so it should be an easy one to remember.

I had a home visit yesterday where I forgot my iPod and my little speaker thing that I bring along. The room I was working in had a T.V. and the clients had Verizon FIOS. It turns out that channel 1945 in this area has meditation music running on it constantly, so I put it on and it worked like a charm. I heard a lot of Steven Halpern, some Enya and even a track off one of the Reiki CDs that I have. So 1945 is now ingrained on my brain in case I forget my iPod again. Although this information probably only applies to a small geographical area, it might help someone!

Oh, if the client doesn't have Verizon, and they have a computer in the room with a pretty decent speaker, pandora.com could be used. It's internet radio where you pick one artist and then it plays similar artists/tracks continually. One thing to look out for is whether someone else in the house is doing lots of work on the Internet though since it tends to suck up a lot of bandwidth. I also like to run it on my computer while I'm doing my accounts since sometimes I learn about new artists.

I've been on home visits before where my iPod battery has run out and it's just weird to work with no music in the background in my opinion. But then I'm a bit weird.........


Gaelic lesson #43 "radio", pronounced "raa-dio". I don't think I need to say what it means!

It's time to forget about your "Tribbles" and head to the movie theater.....

......because the best movie of the summer opened today.

At least I "think" it will be the best. Having just watched it, it will be hard to beat. But then the new Terminator movie comes out at the end of the month. May is a good month for movies - at least it is for this she-geek!
With the amount of stress that the crew of the Enterprise went through, you'd think they'd have a massage therapist on board.

I'm off to massage my wee Star Trek buddy

Gaelic lesson #42: "Beatha fada agus rath duit", pronounced "vayha fadda ug-us ra ditch", meaning "Long live and prosper" (sort of)

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb celebrating cinco de Mayo

Following a little guitar playing, a couple of shots of Tequila and a siesta, Artie then dove thumb-tip first into a bowl of guacamole. Yum!

I thought that this day commemorated Mexico's independence, but it doesn't! It's actually a celebration of a battle nearly 150 years ago.

I learn a new thing every day!

Gaelic lesson #41 "taobh theas de teorainn", pronounced "teev hass d'terreen", meaning "south of the border"

A new type of body treatment?

Plastic surgeons can perform liposuction, but today I was thinking that this lowly MT might be able to provide "whole body suction". This service entails the roof coming off and you and your client get sucked up into a tornado. What fun! Oz, here we come!

I've been in session before when thunderstorms were so bad that the electric was cut off, but today was the first time I've been in session when the city's tornado alarms have gone off, so obviously we'd to move quickly.

That's life in Texas for ya - never a dull moment!

Gaelic lesson #40 "scamall mor", pronounced "skamel moar", meaing "big cloud"

"It's like a facial for my whole body"

I just did another ginger and lime salt glow for a client and that's what she said. Her skin felt great after the session. I think I'm going to have the salt glow as my "nicey" summer special. Normally I just deal with therapeutic massage, but this body treatment is so easy and cool and you see instantaneous results, I'm going with it.

Gaelic lesson #39 "samhradh", pronounced "sow-roo" meaning "summer"

It's OK to no-show me!

OK, so if I'd a dime for every no show I've had this week, I'd be 20 cents richer today. I haven't been great at sending out email reminders lately, so I should expect it!
When there are stories going around of an imminent pandemic and local schools start to shut down, I'm sort of OK with no shows these days.

My hope is that Stephen King's "The Stand" isn't about to be made a reality. I have to wonder who I'd be dreaming of though - the little lady on the farm or the wandering guy in the denim jacket?

Gaelic lesson #38": "muc", pronounced "muck", believe it or not, meaning "pig"

"My little Alien friend will be massaging your neck"

Don't you just love it when you're working on someone's back and then suddenly your stomach starts to make these really weird, LOUD noises right next to the client's head? It sounds like there's a dinosaur in your chest or like you're about to do a John Hurt impersonation on the table and have an alien burst out of you.

It might be handy to have a wee alien buddy work on the client's neck though - some of those knots need chewed!

Gaelic lesson #37 "goile", pronounced "gill-ye", meaning "stomach"

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb doing Yoga

Yep, that's downward dog - thumbstyle.
(Plus the cutest wee yoga mat in the world).

Artie is very aware of all the benefits of yoga - increased flexibility, stress reduction, increased strength and body awareness.

Gaelic lesson #36 "madra", pronounced the way it looks! meaning "dog"

Gladiatorical thoughts.......

Back to my massage soundtracks......

"Gladiator". Surely it'll go down as one of the best movies ever made. Ridley Scott hit the nail on the head in every aspect, especially with the music. I try to keep the music slow and so I took the track "Duduk of the North" off the main soundtrack which speeds up towards the end with a "guitary bit", but it's still fits into the playlist well.

However, what thoughts come into the client's mind?

Is there anything more relaxing than the thought of some guy's family being slain for the sake of political gain and then he ends up in the Coliseum with other Gladiators, all fighting each other to death, smashing each other in the face with telephones?

Er....hang on......am I getting confused here?

Gaelic lesson #35 "scairt ghuthain", pronounced "ske-irt yeu-hinn", meaning "telephone call"

Wish all celtic women could sing like that......

.......just got back from the Celtic Woman concert.

Those chicks can sing!
Unfortunately this Celtic woman's singing could be used as a form of torture.

Gaelic lesson #34 "amhran", prounced "um-rahn", meaning "song"

Tea Parties - a very civilized way to protest!

One of my favorite clients and I often have conversations about interesting things that normally I steer away from in the massage room - politics, religion and the like. She's one of those special people that you can discuss such things with since she's so open minded.

Today she brought up the fact that there was a local tea party where people were protesting the government's handling of the economy. So, in my head I'm thinking "That's pretty darned civilized" and I'm imagining people sitting around with their bone china cups and saucers, maybe having scones with jam or pastry, picked off a lovely cake stand, all sitting on lawn chairs under a marquee. And then someone standing up, teacup and saucer in hand and having a wee rant about stuff. Lovely. I want to go to one!

It wasn't until the end of the conversation that I realized that an AMERICAN tea party is WAY different from an Irish one. My vision was totally squashed when she said that the tea party had caused a traffic jam that even made the traffic report on the radio. "People with teacups out on the middle of the road? Ohhhhhh.....THAT sort of tea party - Bostony type of tea party!". (You can tell I haven't been watching the news lately!)

Gaelic lesson #33 "cupan eile tae", pronounced "cup-on ay-ya tay", meaning "another cup of tea"

A home-made spa product and a product review combined

A few weeks ago I got a salt glow on a cruise ship. It was lovely. Expensive.....but lovely nevertheless. I happened to ask at the time about the product they were using and I was told it was a lime and ginger salt glow mixture. If you look back at previous posts you'll find a link to a long and tiresome description of my experience of the whole thing (which might put you to sleep - I AM in the business of relaxation, after all). Anyhoooo....when I asked how much the product was to BUY, I nearly had heart failure when I heard the price of a wee glass jar of the stuff, so I stopped myself.

I decided I was going to try and make my own.

So I used:

- REAL limes (yep, REAL - used their juice)
- REAL Ginger (REAL - juiced some of it in my juicer)
- Sea salt - fine grained
- Some Himalayan Bath Salts
- Pure Jojoba Oil
- few drops of essential oils

Why Jojoba oil? Well, I kind of like it. I read an ad in a magazine a while back where they were giving out free samples of it, so I tried it since it's pure - no chemicals and here's the great thing - IT DOESN'T MAKE SHEETS STINK. In the past I've been reluctant to do salt glows since I've found it doesn't matter how fast you get those sheets in the washer or what detergent you use, if there's oil on them, they'll stink. When I got the free sample I tested the theory and put some on a pillow cover, left it for a few days and then had a good old sniff at it - no smell! Great!

The mixture turned out fabulous. I had some of the mixture left over, so I put some in a little glass bottle with the flip top that I got from Michaels (for a buck) and gave it to the client afterward (I was sure to tell her to be careful if using it in the shower since it could turn her tub into a slippery widower-maker) and she loved it. Her skin felt FABULOUS - softer than a baby's butt.

I've also used the Jojoba oil for hot stone massage and it works well for that also - good "slide factor". No preservatives also mean that there's no weird chemicals getting into my system through my skin too, which is a nice thought. So I'm sold. I was quite pleased the little experiment turned out well. Now what will the next one be.........hmmmmmm........wonder if I could turn my vacuum cleaner into a lipo machine?

Gaelic lesson #32 "craiceann min", pronounced "crack-on minn", meaning "soft skin"

Getting stoned with aromatherapy......

...but not in the way you might think!

The other day I gave my aromatherapy bamboo display and all my bottles a good cleaning with that fungicide/bactericide/everything-under-the-sun-icide cleaning material. I also got a little "Monk" ish over my bottles all being lined up perfectly - they look so pretty! I also washed my wee stones that I keep on the display too.

I love my wee stones. They're from all over the place.

There's a wee stone from the beach in Greystones in County Wicklow, Ireland, another from the beach in Portstewart in County Antrim, another from Tulum Mayan ruins in Mexico, another from Florida and about 20 other places. It's just nice to have a collection of stones from my travels right there in the massage room, so when I go pick out the oil which suits the client best, I immediately get a relaxing vision of crashing waves on an Irish beach ......or Mickey Mouse.....or Mayans performing a human sacrifice - depends on the client!

Gaelic lesson #31 "cloch beag", pronounced "clough be-ug", meaning "small stone"

Platoonical thoughts.....

OK.....so I'm still playing my movie soundtrack playlist during massage.

One of the tracks on there is "Adagio for Strings" by Barber. It's one of those classical pieces of music that you'll stop doing anything and just listen to it since it's so beautiful. Anyway, having watched Platoon at least 20 times in my life, I've come to think that Oliver Stone used one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever made as a juxtaposition for the most horrible things that humanity can do (kill each other). I think.

The above photo is of Willem Dafoe's famous death scene, which mirrored a real photo from the Vietnam war.

So, I'm asking myself: Is there anything more relaxing than the thought of someone getting ripped apart by hundreds of bullets while being completely abandoned by his buddies?

Yep, I'm thinking I'll have to rip that music off my playlist too.

Gaelic lesson #30: "cogah", pronounced "coga", meaning "war"

My Reading Ability After Watching an Episode of Real Housewives

Gaelic lesson #29 "Ean mhor", pronounced "yun woar", meaning "big bird"

Those Guys at Google are SMART.........

Not only because they built the most popular search engine on the Internet, but in building and maintaining it, they realized the importance of massage in the workplace and have a massage therapist work on their engineers. Not only do they do this present day, but they realized the importance of it early on and the result was a massage therapist that later became a multi-millionaire.

Bonnie Brown, a massage therapist, was partly paid in stock options at Google. She started working there when it was just a small company and ended up a rich woman when the company IPO'd in 2004.

I love this story. Not only because just the thought of a member of our profession made it big by doing what we (and she) love, but there's the fact that she now spends her time as a philanthropist, helping others. That is so "massage therapisty"! Since I'm an ex-she geek and worked for 2 start up companies as a software engineer (both companies ended up in the proverbial toilet) I loved to hear the story of a company that made it. Her book was interesting - laugh out loud funny in a few spots, especially her "hot mussels" story on page 112. I think any massage therapist would enjoy this book not only for relating to what goes on in the head of another massage therapist, but for the entertainment value. It made me think that I would like to have a pint and a natter with Bonnie sometime, just to hear more of her entertaining stories.



Gaelic lesson #28 "Ta si lofa le hairgead", pronounced "Ta she low-va le hergad", meaning "She is stinking rich"

I don't know about your association.....

....but mine is brilliant.

I switched to ABMP a while back for a couple of reasons, one of which is too long and complicated to explain, and the other being that I heard that good things about them. I was on a course with 2 ladies from Beaumont, Texas (who were a blast, and if Sandy and Carol are reading this - you gals still make me smile when I think back on that course!) who sang the praises of their association after Hurricane Katrina hit and AMBP called THEM, not the other way 'round. They didn't have damage to their place of business, but I was impressed by the fact that their insurance provider actually took time out to make sure they were OK.

Anyhoo.....I'm impressed with their service. They provide a free website to their members which is easy to use, and even though I have a main website, I'm using their free website (they have a range of different templates to choose from) to get more visibility for my main site (links to my main site help with search engine optimization for it). BUT I had a brainfart when I entered the website domain name and misspelt "massage" - yep, you'd think that I'd know how to do that by now. It annoyed me that this happened and even though I won't be putting the domain name of the freebee site on anything, I just didn't like the fact that it was just wrong. So I emailed them and they got on to it right away. Nice as pie in their communications and efficient in executing what needed to be done. You'd think I had my own wee I.T. department. Oh, and they also provide a lot of cool printed material for your business and lots of good marketing advice.

So if any of you are thinking of changing associations at any time in the future, keep ABMP in mind. I think the acronym actually stands for "Association of Brilliant and Marvelous People".

Gaelic lesson #27 "daoine deas", pronounced "din-ye jass", meaning "nice people"

Condo-monium and an upset GPS

I had a home visit in a condominium complex recently that turned out to be an "I'm-in-need-of-a-massage" experience for me AND my GPS (who's name is Nuvinia).

I turned into this massive condo complex that had street names and building numbers, but could I find the building number that I needed easily? No. It so happened that a big cop car pulled in right behind me just as I was entering the complex. He saw me doing my first 3 point turn. No harm there. Meawhile Nuvinia is starting to do her: "Recalculating.......drive blah blah blah...to blah blah blah", but I ingore her and try to go by building numbers. She doesn't like it. "Recalculating...recalculating..drive blah blah blah to blah blah blah", then I do another 3 point turn, then another. "Recalulating....for goodness sake, woman, aren't you listening?". Nuvinia is about to burst a blood vessel in her head, if she had one.

Meanwhile, the cop car has found me again - he watches me do my fourth 3 point turn. I spot him in my rear view mirror and I'm just waiting on him turning on his disco lights.
I turn into a parking spot and wait. He looked at me for a while, then I think he saw my big magnets on the side of my car with my business name. He probably thought "There's a crazy massage lady that doesn't know where she's going" and drove on.

I was glad for those big magnets. Thank you vistaprint for providing them! You saved me the hassle of trying to explain that I was indeed lost.

Eventually all was well - I found where I was supposed to be. I sent calming vibes to Nuvinia and put her back to sleep. Poor Nuvinia - she deserves a wee virtual neck massage.

Gaelic lesson#26 "carr poilini", pronounced "car pollini", meaning "police car"

Just smile, smile, smile!

Don't you just love it when you decide to have a quick snack before a client's visit, just to keep your energy levels up. Then they arrive, you're all smiles, asking them how they're doing and where they're hurting, getting them situated. Then you come out of the room and look in the mirror to find that you didn't actually get all the snack into your digestive system at all - half of it is stuck on your front teeth.

I'm never smiling again.

Gaelic lesson #25: "moinghaire", pronounced "moyne-yarah", meaning "smile"

Post Real Housewives.

This be mee rite-in on my kompooter after lukin' at an episoad of Reel Housewifes.

Gaelic lesson: Wot Gaelic lesson? Wots Gaelic?

Allergy massage - uncool

At the minute I'm suffering from Texas spring allergies. Every year it gets worse. It gets to the point where I'm having to dose myself up with so many drugs to keep my congestion at bay, I can't function! Sneezing and sniffling around clients is completely uncool though, so it's better to be unable to function than uncool, right?

Gaelic lesson #24 "sron", prounced "shroan", meaning "nose"

Massage and the Recession - good for some?

My husband forwarded me an article from a Fort Worth newspaper on how some massage therapists are busier than ever. It turns out that I know one of the therapists in the article, Dannette, since I was on a course with her a while back - way to go Dannette! Not only on being busier than ever, but on getting more publicity from the article!

Gaelic lesson #23 "nuachtan", pronounced "new-och-tawn", meaning "newspaper"

Dragon Tamers on Cruise Ships - I salute you all!

Yes, this is one massage therapist's thumb with another Massage therapist's thumb! Artie made a friend on the cruise.

I went for a massage on the cruise. One of the perks of being in this industry is that we can learn from others and I find that if I write about massage then I usually come up with improvements that can be applied to my own business. So I always write a review of my massage visits where some analysis is done and a wee "to do" list is the result.

Gaelic lesson #22: "Cara", pronounced "kara", meaning "friend"

More investigation into The Real Housewives

I removed my own brain before watching 2 hours of the Real Housewives of New York (had to catch up on last week's episode) and after, just to see what happens.
Disintegration of the cerebellum was the first noticeable change.
After 2 hours, all that was needed was a little sprinkle of Parmesan cheese, some toast and "Voila......bon appetit!" as the Countess would say!
Gaelic lesson #21: "uibheacha", pronounced "eve-acha", meaning "eggs"

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb on Formal Night on the Cruise

Yes, that is VINTAGE Yves St. Laurent.

Someone still needs to explain to me the difference between "Vintage" and "Old" (EXCEPT when you're talking about wine), other than the fact that it just sounds better.

Expect to see Artie's vintage dress on eBay soon - where people will be bidding more for it's "vintage"-ness!

Gaelic lesson #20 "guna", pronounced "goona", meaning "dress"

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb on Vacation

Artie knows the importance of adequate protection from sun damage (since we come across so many people who have had skin cancer) and so uses a big hat AND a parasol. Sunglasses are also a must as a preventative measure against macular degeneration.

Gaelic lesson #19: "Gloini greine", pronounced "Gloynee greyneay", meaning "sunglasses"

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb on St. Paddy's Day

Yes, that is a tiny Guinness.
This year Artie celebrated St. Paddy's Day on a cruise ship sailing around the Caribbean.

Gaelic lesson #18 "Seamrog", pronounced "shamroag", meaning "shamrock"

Good book....

Just as an FYI, if you want something worth reading that is relevant to this, the most important time of the year, then I recommend:




It's a fictional book about St. P along with some mythical characters and it's entertaining since it hints at the fact that Patrick may not have liked the Irish that much - understandable since he was enslaved there at one stage.
One of the reviewers of the book is Diana Galbaldon who gives it a thumbs up. Galbaldon wrote the Outlander series and well.........she made a lot of women happy by doing so. If Diana thought it was a good read (as do I) then it's a good read! Now off to the library with ye!

Gaelic lesson #17 "Leabhar", pronounced "lyore", meaning "book"

I wonder what St. Patrick was driving....

...when he "drove the snakes out of Ireland".
I wonder if whatever he drove was as big as a Lincoln Navigator.
Those things are massive. I bet the snake capacity of a Navigator would be around 2,532 medium sized snakes.

I'm not sure about the whole snake theory. I think there must be a more reasonable explanation for their disappearance, such as:

1. There are over 40 million people of Irish descent in the U.S., which only proves that the Irish are good at 2 things - leaving and reproducing. Leaving and reproducing has become "an Irish thing". Maybe the snakes were even more Irish than Irish humans and ALL of them left.

OR

2. The snakes got seasonal affective disorder, realized it and said "This sucks. Australia's sunny. Let's go."

OR

3. The snakes got fed up with being categorized into religions according to their skin color i.e. green snakes = catholic snakes, orange snakes = protestant snakes and decided to go somewhere where the brand of their Christianity or their skin color wouldn't matter (Jupiter).

OR

4. The snakes found themselves at a Daniel O'Donnell concert and had an epiphany where they suddenly realized they needed to emigrate. (If you don't know who Daniel O'Donnell is, you are truly blessed).


Gaelic lesson #16: "Ca bhfuil na nathair?", pronounced "Ka will na nayher", meaning "Where are the snakes?"

Floyd reference and a want for people that nick stuff

Last December I had a "momentary lapse of reason". Actually, it was more like a brain fart, but I just wanted to get a Pink Floyd reference in there and "momentary lapse of reason" just sounds so much more poetic.

The moment in question involved pens. I got a call from a company that make promotional products and they were offering this great deal on promo pens. Now, normally I would just hang up on such calls since pens just aren't really anything that I would be interested in and don't really "go" with massage therapy. Sure, clients write checks and they fill in client intake forms, but since it's not a "writey" intensive business, pens just don't seem like the most obvious promo product.
But the guy on the phone was so over-the-top in the sales pitch, SO OVER THE TOP that he made me laugh. It was like I was in a Saturday Night Live skit. So what happened? I ended up getting the pens. LOTS of pens with my massage business info on them. This was a lapse of reason on my part.

These may be like no other pens. I think they reproduce. No matter how many I give away, there always seems to be more. The box in which the pens live is like the biblical sack of fishes and loaves. I have a mission to get these pens out there......

I give the pens to clients. I "sneak" them on to counters at banks and grocery stores, hoping that the person behind me "nicks" pens (FYI "to nick" in British slang is "to steal" for those who haven't seen any Guy Richie movies or those terrible sitcoms from the 70's).
I throw them into the wee pen bucket of anyone that I come across that has one - my hairdresser, the guys at the post office. I have a stash of pens in my bag at all times - putting them here, putting them there, putting them everywhere.

So....if you happen to wake up and find that there are pens all over your house with the name of a massage therapy business on them. Never fear. It's only me paying a visit - the Santa Claus of pens.

Think I'll put another Floyd reference in here since they're shiney....

"No more turning away from the weak and the weary
No more turning away from the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It's not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be no more turning away?"

From the Song "On The Turning Away", off the Album "A Momentary Lapse of Reason" by Pink Floyd

Gaelic lesson #15 "peann", pronounced "pan", meaning "pen"

The Real Impact of Real Housewives.......

OK, so now I've been lured into watching The Real Housewives of New York and last night I actually recorded my I.Q. levels during the 60 minutes of life wasting. As you can see....it's worrisome.

Gaelic lesson #14: "Ta me bomanta", pronounced "Tah may bomancha", meaning "I am stupid"

Titanical thoughts.....

I love movies. Who doesn't?

I'm also a massage therapist who is picky about the music I play during my massage sessions and to be honest, I've never met a massage therapist who isn't. We're funny that way.

So combining these two facts, it's not surprising that I have compilations of soundtracks from movies that I sometimes play during the massage. Some of the music stems from the genius of Ennio Morricone to Vangelis to obscure soundtracks that are just uber-cool. I mix 'n' match and sometimes I don't think. Yes, one of my playlists has lovely, haunting music from the film Titanic. It just dawned on me today that this music, lovely though it is, may not be the most relaxing. Is there anything more relaxing than the thought of hundreds of people having the life sucked out of them by the dark, icy Atlantic?

Hmmmm.....methinks 'tis time to tweak that playlist.

Gaelic lesson #13 "Ta se fliuch agus fuar", pronounced "tah shay fluhck ugus foo-ar", meaning "it is wet and cold"

Massage Product Review #1

O.K., I know, there are LOTS of opinions out there, who needs another one, right? But this is just the humble opinion of a lowly therapist on an instructional DVD.
This first one is on the DVD: Frozen Shoulder Syndrome by Elaine Calenda.


Gaelic lesson #12: "Cad is ainm duit?", pronounced "Cad iss anim ditch", meaning "What is your name?"

It's official - I have the best client that a massage therapist could want....

......BECAUSE SHE BROUGHT ME THIS YESTERDAY.

Just how brilliant is this hat?

I am going to be STYLIN' this St. Paddy's Day!
Thanks D!


Gaelic lesson #11: "Is maith liom mo hata", pronounced "Iss my lyum muh hata" meaning "I like my hat"

Gratitude - got a large portion of it today

My massage therapist friend, Kelli (who, incidentally, is one of the coolest chicks on the planet) contacted me about the possibility of donating a service to a silent auction in order to raise money for a lady she knows who needs $20,000 for cancer treatment. The lady in need is only in her thirties.

Kelli suggested that she and I team up for donating an in-home couples massage, which I thought was a great idea since I have a feeling it will get more bids than the normal massage gift that I have given to silent auctions in the past. So we're going with that. Kelli also suggested that there may be a promotional aspect to the event in getting my name out there with business cards etc.

I don't regard silent auctions as a way to promote my business, although a lot of people say that it's a great way to get business exposure. My experience has been that the business benefit has come when the winning bidder becomes a regular client, which is great in itself, and then they refer their friends. What is really great about silent auctions for causes like this is the satisfaction of knowing that I'm donating time and work in order to help someone in need.

So I've got this gratitude thing going on today - I'm grateful for my health and the health of my family and friends. I'm grateful for being in a profession where I'm able to give to help someone in need and I'm grateful for a good friend who helped steer me into this state of gratitude! Cheers, bud!

Gaelic lesson #10 "Buiochas le Dia", pronounced "Bweeachhkus lay djeeah", meaning "Thank God"

Massage Magazine, I love you!!!!

Yes, I do. Deeply.
More so today than EVER since MY NAME IS ON page 27 of the MARCH 2009 edition! FAME!! AT LONG LAST!

Yep, went to the mailbox today, got my new magazine and saw that there WAS indeed an article on marine therapy. Turns out that the author of the article , Phyllis Hanlon, had contacted me a while back about seaweed wraps and mud wraps, so I'd told her about how us Irish are all over the seaweed thang and have been for centuries. We even eat the stuff sometimes, especially if there's a potato famine going on and such (not that I was actually around in the 1840's).

So now I'm laughing my butt off at the fact that my name is in one of my favorite mags EVER!!!!! Seriously. I have kept every edition of this mag since 2003, it's that cool a magazine - and I am NOT one to horde magazines. I just keep this one and 1 other magazine that is specific to the massage therapy profession since they have such useful articles in them. I even get a wee bit Gollum-y over my collection, petting the magazines and saying "Precious........my precious......" over and over.

Phyllis, you rock! And Massage Mag, I love you!

Gaelic lesson #9: "Ta gra agam duit", prounounced "tah grah ugum ditch", meaning "I love you"

The wee ergonomics lady - friend or foe?

The other day a client made me laugh when she referred to herself as an "ergonomic failure". Apparently the "ergonomic lady" at her company had come around and had to do a lot of adjusting of her chair and general set up at her desk, so much so that my client felt completely inept in the whole area of ergonomics.

Now, in normal circumstances, I view the little ergonomic lady as a friend since she is helping people from getting into bad positions at work, "ergo" she's on the same team as far as keeping people from being in a state of pain.

However, in a recession, non-massage-therapisty thoughts enter my head. People are losing their jobs left, right and center. Out of the people that have jobs, it's the ones with bad backs that actually keep us afloat. They're our bread and butter.

So then I start to think: "What if the wee ergonomic lady could be paid off to actually create worse posture for people at their desks?", then "What if I could put a hit out on the wee ergonomic lady? I wonder how much it would cost to get the wee ergonomic lady "whacked"?"

This all goes to show that I've watched WAY too many episodes of The Sopranos.

Gaelic lesson #8 "Ceann na capall", pronounced "Kee-un na kapall", meaning "horse's head". If you "get this" then visit this site.

Dollar Tree Madness

I like to get stuff for a buck. Yes, I admit to shopping occasionally at dollar stores. One thing I'm always on the look out for are relaxing CDs made by "Body and Soul". They have different ones with different types of relaxing music - e.g. one is called "Music for Reading", another is "Natural Sleep". I really like them since I give them to clients. I put a printed address label on the back of the CD covers with "A wee gift from..." followed by my business info. I like giving them since it's something that can help keep client's relaxed after the session and it's just nice to give them something. It's really great when I hear that people are actually listening to them and using them to unwind.

Well, it's always hit and miss when these CDs are available in the store. Most of the time I only get a few of different ones since they seem to run out of them fast, but when there's a stack of them I get a lot. So yesterday I ended up with 20 copies of the "Peaceful Moments" CD.

The girl at the register swiped all 20 of them individually and said "You REALLY like this music, don't you?"

"Yep, I really, really, really really, REALLY, really like it. Really."

Gaelic lesson #7 "Ceol alainn", pronounced "kee-ol aw-linn", meaning "beautiful music"

Introduction to an MT's right thumb

Name: Right Thumb
Nickname: Artie (it's a play on R.T)
Interests: Opening things, expressing positivity ("O.K." or "Everything's cool"), scratching the side of a cat's face, palpation, alleviating pain in people
Moved by: abductor pollicis brevis, adductor pollicis, first dorsal interosseous, flexor pollicis brevis, opponens pollicis, abductor pollicis longus,
extensor pollicis brevis, extensor pollicis longus, flexor pollicis longus
Fears: Cuts, bites, mutilation, being severed from right hand and hyper extension which leads to no longer being able to work (Artie's nightmare)
Hopes: To be the Jason Bourne of Trigger Point therapy
Friends: Right hand, especially right knuckles since they share the same interests in trigger point handling

Gaelic lesson #6: "ordog" pronounced "ordoag", meaning "thumb"

Today I think I felt my I.Q. drop 20 points in 60 minutes

Yep, you guessed it. I watched an episode of "The Real Housewives of Orange County"

Gaelic Lesson #5: "Go raibh maith agat", pronounced "Gura mie ugut", meaning "Thank you"

Swedish Massage? How about "Irish Massage"?

Since we're nearly at the end of February, I thought it time I updated my website and got rid of my "Valentine's Day Specials". The next big promotional day for gift certificate sales in the massage world is Mother's Day.
So....I decided to have a brainstorming session with my multiple personalities (Sybil, Phoebe and Meryl) and come up with Mother's day specials. One thing we've decided on is a "Mum-to-be" special for pregnant ladies.

According to statistics, it costs approximately $500,000 to raise a kid. So I'm going to give the Mum's-to-be a break on their prenatal massage. Most people charge more for prenatal massage, so I'm going against convention here, but who wants to be conventional anyway?! Plus I like working on pregnant women since I'm actually working on 2 people at the same time. How cool is that?

I've got a prenatal table, which works well 99.9% of the time (if not, then I work on the client side-lying) and the clients love it. Complete with holes for breasts and an adjustable sling in a hole for the belly, it means that the pregnant client can lie face down.
Sometimes I wonder if the set up would work for those of us that have imbibed a little too much Guinness in our lifetime. "Got a beer belly and not able to lie face down? Never fear, Guinness loving massage now available."

Hmmmmmm.....might be a possible niche there....St. Patrick's day is coming up......."Sybil, Phoebe, Meryl!!! Time for another brainstorming session!!!"

Gaelic lesson #4 "Ta me go maith", pronounced "Tah may g'moy", meaning "I am well"

Dragon slayers.....or tamers?

The dragon in question being that big, nasty STRESS DRAGON - NOT a cutesy Eragon-y type one. The STRESS DRAGON is a troublesome beastie, but thankfully there are groups of people out there trying to slay him. Consider the teams:

The Red Team: Personal trainers - helping clients get de-stressed through exercise. These guys 'n' gals have mega-strong hamstrings and quads, so they're able to kick the livin' daylights out of the critter.

The Green Team: (Hey - Irish, remember?) Massage Therapists. Our metaphorical swords are our hands, employing the use of a hec of a lot of tapotement.

And last, but not least, The Earth Colored Team: Yoga Instructors. They can get away with wearing the earth colors since they all look like runway models. These peeps have the dragon balance on it's tail, with it's back legs wrapped around it's neck 5 times.

We're all out there, surrounding the stress dragon, doing our thing.

This is how I have previously viewed stress in my head. However, recently I've began to think I need to change that. Here's why......

I'm sure most of you have heard the story of Mother Teresa and the anti-war rally. If not, the basic story is that when Mother Teresa was asked to join an anti-war rally she graciously declined, then said something along the lines of "When you have a peace rally, let me know, and I'll go to that". I've read this in a couple of books, and many of the writers on self-development say that we shouldn't be "against" or "anti" anything, instead we should be "for" the opposite.

So my picture of the dragon slaying must change. Instead of us fighting it, we'll pet it, give it copious cups of tea (maybe the odd scone) and have it purring, mellow and tamed!

Gaelic lesson #3 "Cad e mar ata tu?", pronounced: "Kadjay marr a-taa too?", meaning "How are you?"

The Pursuit of a Biel-butt and a little business promotion

I did it.
I crawled out of bed and got over to the gym early.

In normal circumstances I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards when I go to the gym, but I thought I'd better put a little effort into this since there is a possibility that my personal trainer client MIGHT just put in a good word for me and I envisioned myself shaking hands with other gym-goers etc. I ALSO HAD A BIT OF INSPIRATION. Rather than putting on the most wrinkled t-shirt on the planet (my usual attire for the gym) I decided to put on a t- shirt that I made a while back that has the domain name of my massage business on the back of it. When I say "made", I mean that I just got a plain t-shirt and did an iron transfer thingy from a .jpeg that I created on the computer.

So off I traipsed with referral cards and some other promotional stuff to give to the trainer, ready to shake everybody's hand and do a lot of business card dispensing.

Only to find the personal trainer wasn't there!

No worries - I got my butt onto the precor machine and did a cardio session. As I'm turning myself into a sweat-ladened drowned rat I'm thinking:

"Wonder if those peeps behind me are looking at my domain name? Or are they thinking "I don't think I want that sweaty mass touching me" ?"

Whatever.......Biel-butt making AND ingraining my domain name into the heads of gym-goers all at the same time? Well, there's nothing like killing 2 birds with the same stone (I actually don't like that phrase since I feel sorry for the birdies.....)


Gaelic lesson #2: "Dia is Muire duit" pronunciation: "Djeeah iss murrah ditch", translation: "God AND MARY be with you" - it's the usual reply to "Dia duit" and just shows that one upmanship is prevalent wherever you go in the world!

The most used word by a massage therapist...

....surely must be "scoot".

"OK now, if you'll just turn over and scoot down the table a wee bit"
"Just scoot down a bit more...that's it, just to get your head off the face cradle"

Going off subject here....
If anyone ever reads this blog I'd like them to get a bit of education on something that will be REALLY useful to them in life. What is more useful than Gaelic? From now on with every post I will add a line of Gaelic, the pronunciation and the translation.

The benefit? When a telemarketer calls and you just can't be bothered, start talking Gaelic to them and they'll soon hang up. Brilliant!

Gaelic lesson #1: "Dia duit" pronounced "Djeeah ditch", meaning "God be with you" or "Hello"

Valentine's Day Aftermath

It's over. One of the busiest weekends of the year and even with this recession, there was a lot of demand for massage - a good thing, but I'm knackered! I need a massage!

Anyway, I was sort of pleased with myself on one thing. I worked on a physical trainer and his girlfriend yesterday - nice people. I'm hoping that the physical trainer was impressed enough to send some of his clients my way, and the fact that he's at my local gym most of the day SHOULD motivate me to get my butt over there a lot more often, get more exercise and MAYBE more clients as an add on, just by having him in the same area.

So it's on my list of things to do for this week.....go to gym with referral cards and tell him that for every 5 people he sends me, I'll give him a massage.

Then work out for 2 hours, get consistent about doing that, and have a butt like Jessica Biel's by the end of April......miracle's do happen.