Saturday, 30 May 2009

"Irk"iness ain't good.....

Yesterday I got a phone call to my home phone from a telemarketer looking for someone at my business.

So rather than do the usual handling of telemarketers on my home phone (start saying the Lord's Prayer to them in Gaelic - gets rid of them and gets a bit of praying in at the same time - multi-tasking is fab), I needed to know where they got their their database info since having some database somewhere with my business name and a non-business number is just unacceptable.

What ensued should have been recorded.

Imagine one person with a funny accent on one end and another on the other (and I might be biased here, but the Irish chick could speak WAY better English) and on one side all the person is wanting to know is where the information on the database was retrieved from SO THAT IT COULD BE FIXED. Meanwhile, the person with the REALLY funny accent on the other end is trying to get the Irish chick to sign up for some online listing on some directory which is free at first, but then charges something like $49.99 (not $50, that would be too much) per month - daylight freakin' robbery.

I ended up being not very massage-therapisty on the phone. I was irked big time and I don't like being irked!

On the one hand I should be sympathetic to the telemarketer trying to do a job, but on the other, the fact that their info was wrong would affect my business in a bad way - I don't want potential client's calling my home phone. I get really annoyed when people don't listen and sit and follow a script that's put in front of them, if for no other fact that it shows that not only are they trying to brainwash whoever listens to them, but they have been brainwashed themselves. You'd have thought that if someone had started to ask them questions that their brain would actually kick into motion again.

That's my rant for the month!

Gaelic lesson #50

Lord's Prayer in Irish
Ár nAthair atá ar neamh,
Our Father, who art in Heaven

go naofar d'ainm;
hollowed be thy Name

go dtaga do ríocht;
Thy kingdom come

go ndéantar do thoil ar an talamh
Thy will be done on earth

mar a dhéantar ar neamh.
as it is in Heaven

Ár n-arán laethúil tabhair dúinn inniu;
give us this day our daily bread

agus maith dúinn ár bhfiacha
and forgive us our trespasses

mar a mhaithimidne dár bhféichiúna féin;
as we forgive those who trespass against us

agus ná lig sinn i gcathú,
and lead us not into temptation

ach saor sinn ó olc. Amen.
but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Pronunciation: This wee woman takes care of it: watch!

Monday, 25 May 2009

Just wondering......

What do you think?
On the one "hand" Wolverine does have his pluses - nearly too many to mention, BUT if he gets a bit annoyed at anything then the client's TrPs would have a little too much done to them (they'd be seared by W's claws) SO the client had better not break wind - which isn't really a relaxing situation to be in.
Terminator dude's hands would be pretty darn strong. Of course he'd need something covering them and a heightened level of tactile sensitivity - plus he'd need to be reprogrammed to terminate just the trigger points and not the whole human.

I dunno - it's a tough one.

(FYI: The new Terminator movie is brilliant.)
Gaelic lesson #49 "crag", pronoucned "crawg", meaning "claw"

Saturday, 23 May 2009

It's good golfing weather....

....and Quadratus Lumborums everywhere are feeling it.

Q: What answer will you get if you ask a massage therapist about their opinion on the best sport to take up?
A: Varies, but the MTs that say "golf" are probably putting business first!

Gaelic lesson #48 "stangadh droma", pronounced "stanga droma", meaning "back strain"

Friday, 22 May 2009

A Massage therapist's Right Thumb looking for J.R.

Annie Liebowitz, eat your heart out!

Yes, people, that IS Southfork in the background and YES, that IS a wee cowboy hat on Artie.

No sign of J.R. I think he's too busy putting up solar panels.

If you're wondering why the picture is so bad, it's because the cops out Southfork direction don't like it when cars stop along the road in front of it to take pictures, so I had to take it really fast!

Can you imagine the conversation if I had been "caught"?

"S'cuse me, ma'am, why are you stopped along this road?"
"I'm taking a picture of my thumb with a cowboy hat on with Southfork in the background."
Just how would the conversation progress from there?

Gaelic lesson #47 "fear glas", pronounced "far glass", meaning "green grass" - Texas looks like Ireland these days since we've been having so much rain!

Thursday, 21 May 2009

Question of the day

Am I the only female on the planet that has never seen an episode of American Idol? My husband doesn't watch it either. I believe there's only him and a goat-herder called Cvwenk on the outskirts of the Gobi desert that are the only other ones on the planet that don't tune in for it - and that's only because Cvwenk's tivo set is broken.

Gaelic lesson #46 "gabhar", pronounced "gavar", meaning "goat"

Saturday, 16 May 2009

Playing with mud and fighting a fomentek

I did a mud wrap today. I don't do many wraps, but they're interesting since I think I kind of like wrapping people up like turkeys - think it appeals to my control-freaky side. Anyway, I tried something different today. I really don't want the client to get cold, since I have had a wrap before when I've been cold and I've decided I'd rather be frying my own spleen than have a cold wrap (well maybe not, but you get the point). So cold wrapped-up clients are unacceptable in this neck of the woods.

NORMALLY I use heated rice bags that I normally use as back warmers in massage. I put them in with the client when I'm wrapping them up to keep them nice and toasty. But today I decided to try out my fomentek bag. The directions say that I've to fill it up only a third of the way full with hot water.

This bag is massive. At least, it FELT like it was massive. When I brought it into the room I sat it on my wee useful table that I use for lots of things (that's why it's called my "wee useful table"). So water being water-like, the bag took on a new life of it's own and slowly rolled off the table. So I put it on the dresser and the bag sort of became like something out of Dr. Who and decided to go and have a walk around it too. It made all these scary noises while doing this, so the client had to check out what sort of Alien had come into the room - head up, looking around, worried vibes.

Anyway, I got it under control in the end and it worked well at keeping the client warm. She cooked up lovely. All I needed was to throw a few spuds and carrots around her and it would have been a cannibal's Christmas. The client was happy with the experience and when they're happy, I'm happy. Playing with mud is fun!

Gaelic lesson #45 "uisce", pronounced "ishke", meaning "water"

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb watching hockey

Injury prevention is always at the top of Artie's mind, even when relaxing. The reason is obvious: injured thumb = not able to work = no income = starve to death on the street.

So Artie is extra careful, even if it just looks like that puck is going to come flying out of the T.V. screen, it's good to have a thumb-sized helmet.

Gaelic lesson #44 "haca", pronounced "hawk-a" meaning "hockey"

Monday, 11 May 2009


Remember that number.

They talk about that year on the History channel a lot, so it should be an easy one to remember.

I had a home visit yesterday where I forgot my iPod and my little speaker thing that I bring along. The room I was working in had a T.V. and the clients had Verizon FIOS. It turns out that channel 1945 in this area has meditation music running on it constantly, so I put it on and it worked like a charm. I heard a lot of Steven Halpern, some Enya and even a track off one of the Reiki CDs that I have. So 1945 is now ingrained on my brain in case I forget my iPod again. Although this information probably only applies to a small geographical area, it might help someone!

Oh, if the client doesn't have Verizon, and they have a computer in the room with a pretty decent speaker, could be used. It's internet radio where you pick one artist and then it plays similar artists/tracks continually. One thing to look out for is whether someone else in the house is doing lots of work on the Internet though since it tends to suck up a lot of bandwidth. I also like to run it on my computer while I'm doing my accounts since sometimes I learn about new artists.

I've been on home visits before where my iPod battery has run out and it's just weird to work with no music in the background in my opinion. But then I'm a bit weird.........

Gaelic lesson #43 "radio", pronounced "raa-dio". I don't think I need to say what it means!

Friday, 8 May 2009

It's time to forget about your "Tribbles" and head to the movie theater.....

......because the best movie of the summer opened today.

At least I "think" it will be the best. Having just watched it, it will be hard to beat. But then the new Terminator movie comes out at the end of the month. May is a good month for movies - at least it is for this she-geek!
With the amount of stress that the crew of the Enterprise went through, you'd think they'd have a massage therapist on board.

I'm off to massage my wee Star Trek buddy

Gaelic lesson #42: "Beatha fada agus rath duit", pronounced "vayha fadda ug-us ra ditch", meaning "Long live and prosper" (sort of)

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb celebrating cinco de Mayo

Following a little guitar playing, a couple of shots of Tequila and a siesta, Artie then dove thumb-tip first into a bowl of guacamole. Yum!

I thought that this day commemorated Mexico's independence, but it doesn't! It's actually a celebration of a battle nearly 150 years ago.

I learn a new thing every day!

Gaelic lesson #41 "taobh theas de teorainn", pronounced "teev hass d'terreen", meaning "south of the border"

Saturday, 2 May 2009

A new type of body treatment?

Plastic surgeons can perform liposuction, but today I was thinking that this lowly MT might be able to provide "whole body suction". This service entails the roof coming off and you and your client get sucked up into a tornado. What fun! Oz, here we come!

I've been in session before when thunderstorms were so bad that the electric was cut off, but today was the first time I've been in session when the city's tornado alarms have gone off, so obviously we'd to move quickly.

That's life in Texas for ya - never a dull moment!

Gaelic lesson #40 "scamall mor", pronounced "skamel moar", meaing "big cloud"

"It's like a facial for my whole body"

I just did another ginger and lime salt glow for a client and that's what she said. Her skin felt great after the session. I think I'm going to have the salt glow as my "nicey" summer special. Normally I just deal with therapeutic massage, but this body treatment is so easy and cool and you see instantaneous results, I'm going with it.

Gaelic lesson #39 "samhradh", pronounced "sow-roo" meaning "summer"