Wee things this Massage Therapist has learned

1. When getting up to do 30 second commercials at networking meetings, be careful when trying to tell a joke since there is a chance no one will laugh BECAUSE NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION
2. When getting up to do 30 second commercials at networking meetings, don't be overly concerned about your gut hanging over your trousers or what you wear BECAUSE NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION
3. When you go to networking meetings and someone says "Is this your first time?" when it's actually your sixth, don't be alarmed, BECAUSE NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION

Or maybe it's: "BECAUSE NO ONE IS PAYING ATTENTION TO ME"

Sometimes I really wish I looked like Cheryl Crow.