I wonder what St. Patrick was driving....

...when he "drove the snakes out of Ireland".
I wonder if whatever he drove was as big as a Lincoln Navigator.
Those things are massive. I bet the snake capacity of a Navigator would be around 2,532 medium sized snakes.

I'm not sure about the whole snake theory. I think there must be a more reasonable explanation for their disappearance, such as:

1. There are over 40 million people of Irish descent in the U.S., which only proves that the Irish are good at 2 things - leaving and reproducing. Leaving and reproducing has become "an Irish thing". Maybe the snakes were even more Irish than Irish humans and ALL of them left.

OR

2. The snakes got seasonal affective disorder, realized it and said "This sucks. Australia's sunny. Let's go."

OR

3. The snakes got fed up with being categorized into religions according to their skin color i.e. green snakes = catholic snakes, orange snakes = protestant snakes and decided to go somewhere where the brand of their Christianity or their skin color wouldn't matter (Jupiter).

OR

4. The snakes found themselves at a Daniel O'Donnell concert and had an epiphany where they suddenly realized they needed to emigrate. (If you don't know who Daniel O'Donnell is, you are truly blessed).


Gaelic lesson #16: "Ca bhfuil na nathair?", pronounced "Ka will na nayher", meaning "Where are the snakes?"