Post Real Housewives.

This be mee rite-in on my kompooter after lukin' at an episoad of Reel Housewifes.

Gaelic lesson: Wot Gaelic lesson? Wots Gaelic?

Allergy massage - uncool

At the minute I'm suffering from Texas spring allergies. Every year it gets worse. It gets to the point where I'm having to dose myself up with so many drugs to keep my congestion at bay, I can't function! Sneezing and sniffling around clients is completely uncool though, so it's better to be unable to function than uncool, right?

Gaelic lesson #24 "sron", prounced "shroan", meaning "nose"

Massage and the Recession - good for some?

My husband forwarded me an article from a Fort Worth newspaper on how some massage therapists are busier than ever. It turns out that I know one of the therapists in the article, Dannette, since I was on a course with her a while back - way to go Dannette! Not only on being busier than ever, but on getting more publicity from the article!

Gaelic lesson #23 "nuachtan", pronounced "new-och-tawn", meaning "newspaper"

Dragon Tamers on Cruise Ships - I salute you all!

Yes, this is one massage therapist's thumb with another Massage therapist's thumb! Artie made a friend on the cruise.

I went for a massage on the cruise. One of the perks of being in this industry is that we can learn from others and I find that if I write about massage then I usually come up with improvements that can be applied to my own business. So I always write a review of my massage visits where some analysis is done and a wee "to do" list is the result.

Gaelic lesson #22: "Cara", pronounced "kara", meaning "friend"

More investigation into The Real Housewives

I removed my own brain before watching 2 hours of the Real Housewives of New York (had to catch up on last week's episode) and after, just to see what happens.
Disintegration of the cerebellum was the first noticeable change.
After 2 hours, all that was needed was a little sprinkle of Parmesan cheese, some toast and "Voila......bon appetit!" as the Countess would say!
Gaelic lesson #21: "uibheacha", pronounced "eve-acha", meaning "eggs"

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb on Formal Night on the Cruise

Yes, that is VINTAGE Yves St. Laurent.

Someone still needs to explain to me the difference between "Vintage" and "Old" (EXCEPT when you're talking about wine), other than the fact that it just sounds better.

Expect to see Artie's vintage dress on eBay soon - where people will be bidding more for it's "vintage"-ness!

Gaelic lesson #20 "guna", pronounced "goona", meaning "dress"

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb on Vacation

Artie knows the importance of adequate protection from sun damage (since we come across so many people who have had skin cancer) and so uses a big hat AND a parasol. Sunglasses are also a must as a preventative measure against macular degeneration.

Gaelic lesson #19: "Gloini greine", pronounced "Gloynee greyneay", meaning "sunglasses"

A Massage Therapist's Right Thumb on St. Paddy's Day

Yes, that is a tiny Guinness.
This year Artie celebrated St. Paddy's Day on a cruise ship sailing around the Caribbean.

Gaelic lesson #18 "Seamrog", pronounced "shamroag", meaning "shamrock"

Good book....

Just as an FYI, if you want something worth reading that is relevant to this, the most important time of the year, then I recommend:




It's a fictional book about St. P along with some mythical characters and it's entertaining since it hints at the fact that Patrick may not have liked the Irish that much - understandable since he was enslaved there at one stage.
One of the reviewers of the book is Diana Galbaldon who gives it a thumbs up. Galbaldon wrote the Outlander series and well.........she made a lot of women happy by doing so. If Diana thought it was a good read (as do I) then it's a good read! Now off to the library with ye!

Gaelic lesson #17 "Leabhar", pronounced "lyore", meaning "book"

I wonder what St. Patrick was driving....

...when he "drove the snakes out of Ireland".
I wonder if whatever he drove was as big as a Lincoln Navigator.
Those things are massive. I bet the snake capacity of a Navigator would be around 2,532 medium sized snakes.

I'm not sure about the whole snake theory. I think there must be a more reasonable explanation for their disappearance, such as:

1. There are over 40 million people of Irish descent in the U.S., which only proves that the Irish are good at 2 things - leaving and reproducing. Leaving and reproducing has become "an Irish thing". Maybe the snakes were even more Irish than Irish humans and ALL of them left.

OR

2. The snakes got seasonal affective disorder, realized it and said "This sucks. Australia's sunny. Let's go."

OR

3. The snakes got fed up with being categorized into religions according to their skin color i.e. green snakes = catholic snakes, orange snakes = protestant snakes and decided to go somewhere where the brand of their Christianity or their skin color wouldn't matter (Jupiter).

OR

4. The snakes found themselves at a Daniel O'Donnell concert and had an epiphany where they suddenly realized they needed to emigrate. (If you don't know who Daniel O'Donnell is, you are truly blessed).


Gaelic lesson #16: "Ca bhfuil na nathair?", pronounced "Ka will na nayher", meaning "Where are the snakes?"

Floyd reference and a want for people that nick stuff

Last December I had a "momentary lapse of reason". Actually, it was more like a brain fart, but I just wanted to get a Pink Floyd reference in there and "momentary lapse of reason" just sounds so much more poetic.

The moment in question involved pens. I got a call from a company that make promotional products and they were offering this great deal on promo pens. Now, normally I would just hang up on such calls since pens just aren't really anything that I would be interested in and don't really "go" with massage therapy. Sure, clients write checks and they fill in client intake forms, but since it's not a "writey" intensive business, pens just don't seem like the most obvious promo product.
But the guy on the phone was so over-the-top in the sales pitch, SO OVER THE TOP that he made me laugh. It was like I was in a Saturday Night Live skit. So what happened? I ended up getting the pens. LOTS of pens with my massage business info on them. This was a lapse of reason on my part.

These may be like no other pens. I think they reproduce. No matter how many I give away, there always seems to be more. The box in which the pens live is like the biblical sack of fishes and loaves. I have a mission to get these pens out there......

I give the pens to clients. I "sneak" them on to counters at banks and grocery stores, hoping that the person behind me "nicks" pens (FYI "to nick" in British slang is "to steal" for those who haven't seen any Guy Richie movies or those terrible sitcoms from the 70's).
I throw them into the wee pen bucket of anyone that I come across that has one - my hairdresser, the guys at the post office. I have a stash of pens in my bag at all times - putting them here, putting them there, putting them everywhere.

So....if you happen to wake up and find that there are pens all over your house with the name of a massage therapy business on them. Never fear. It's only me paying a visit - the Santa Claus of pens.

Think I'll put another Floyd reference in here since they're shiney....

"No more turning away from the weak and the weary
No more turning away from the coldness inside
Just a world that we all must share
It's not enough just to stand and stare
Is it only a dream that there'll be no more turning away?"

From the Song "On The Turning Away", off the Album "A Momentary Lapse of Reason" by Pink Floyd

Gaelic lesson #15 "peann", pronounced "pan", meaning "pen"

The Real Impact of Real Housewives.......

OK, so now I've been lured into watching The Real Housewives of New York and last night I actually recorded my I.Q. levels during the 60 minutes of life wasting. As you can see....it's worrisome.

Gaelic lesson #14: "Ta me bomanta", pronounced "Tah may bomancha", meaning "I am stupid"

Titanical thoughts.....

I love movies. Who doesn't?

I'm also a massage therapist who is picky about the music I play during my massage sessions and to be honest, I've never met a massage therapist who isn't. We're funny that way.

So combining these two facts, it's not surprising that I have compilations of soundtracks from movies that I sometimes play during the massage. Some of the music stems from the genius of Ennio Morricone to Vangelis to obscure soundtracks that are just uber-cool. I mix 'n' match and sometimes I don't think. Yes, one of my playlists has lovely, haunting music from the film Titanic. It just dawned on me today that this music, lovely though it is, may not be the most relaxing. Is there anything more relaxing than the thought of hundreds of people having the life sucked out of them by the dark, icy Atlantic?

Hmmmm.....methinks 'tis time to tweak that playlist.

Gaelic lesson #13 "Ta se fliuch agus fuar", pronounced "tah shay fluhck ugus foo-ar", meaning "it is wet and cold"

Massage Product Review #1

O.K., I know, there are LOTS of opinions out there, who needs another one, right? But this is just the humble opinion of a lowly therapist on an instructional DVD.
This first one is on the DVD: Frozen Shoulder Syndrome by Elaine Calenda.


Gaelic lesson #12: "Cad is ainm duit?", pronounced "Cad iss anim ditch", meaning "What is your name?"

It's official - I have the best client that a massage therapist could want....

......BECAUSE SHE BROUGHT ME THIS YESTERDAY.

Just how brilliant is this hat?

I am going to be STYLIN' this St. Paddy's Day!
Thanks D!


Gaelic lesson #11: "Is maith liom mo hata", pronounced "Iss my lyum muh hata" meaning "I like my hat"

Gratitude - got a large portion of it today

My massage therapist friend, Kelli (who, incidentally, is one of the coolest chicks on the planet) contacted me about the possibility of donating a service to a silent auction in order to raise money for a lady she knows who needs $20,000 for cancer treatment. The lady in need is only in her thirties.

Kelli suggested that she and I team up for donating an in-home couples massage, which I thought was a great idea since I have a feeling it will get more bids than the normal massage gift that I have given to silent auctions in the past. So we're going with that. Kelli also suggested that there may be a promotional aspect to the event in getting my name out there with business cards etc.

I don't regard silent auctions as a way to promote my business, although a lot of people say that it's a great way to get business exposure. My experience has been that the business benefit has come when the winning bidder becomes a regular client, which is great in itself, and then they refer their friends. What is really great about silent auctions for causes like this is the satisfaction of knowing that I'm donating time and work in order to help someone in need.

So I've got this gratitude thing going on today - I'm grateful for my health and the health of my family and friends. I'm grateful for being in a profession where I'm able to give to help someone in need and I'm grateful for a good friend who helped steer me into this state of gratitude! Cheers, bud!

Gaelic lesson #10 "Buiochas le Dia", pronounced "Bweeachhkus lay djeeah", meaning "Thank God"

Massage Magazine, I love you!!!!

Yes, I do. Deeply.
More so today than EVER since MY NAME IS ON page 27 of the MARCH 2009 edition! FAME!! AT LONG LAST!

Yep, went to the mailbox today, got my new magazine and saw that there WAS indeed an article on marine therapy. Turns out that the author of the article , Phyllis Hanlon, had contacted me a while back about seaweed wraps and mud wraps, so I'd told her about how us Irish are all over the seaweed thang and have been for centuries. We even eat the stuff sometimes, especially if there's a potato famine going on and such (not that I was actually around in the 1840's).

So now I'm laughing my butt off at the fact that my name is in one of my favorite mags EVER!!!!! Seriously. I have kept every edition of this mag since 2003, it's that cool a magazine - and I am NOT one to horde magazines. I just keep this one and 1 other magazine that is specific to the massage therapy profession since they have such useful articles in them. I even get a wee bit Gollum-y over my collection, petting the magazines and saying "Precious........my precious......" over and over.

Phyllis, you rock! And Massage Mag, I love you!

Gaelic lesson #9: "Ta gra agam duit", prounounced "tah grah ugum ditch", meaning "I love you"

The wee ergonomics lady - friend or foe?

The other day a client made me laugh when she referred to herself as an "ergonomic failure". Apparently the "ergonomic lady" at her company had come around and had to do a lot of adjusting of her chair and general set up at her desk, so much so that my client felt completely inept in the whole area of ergonomics.

Now, in normal circumstances, I view the little ergonomic lady as a friend since she is helping people from getting into bad positions at work, "ergo" she's on the same team as far as keeping people from being in a state of pain.

However, in a recession, non-massage-therapisty thoughts enter my head. People are losing their jobs left, right and center. Out of the people that have jobs, it's the ones with bad backs that actually keep us afloat. They're our bread and butter.

So then I start to think: "What if the wee ergonomic lady could be paid off to actually create worse posture for people at their desks?", then "What if I could put a hit out on the wee ergonomic lady? I wonder how much it would cost to get the wee ergonomic lady "whacked"?"

This all goes to show that I've watched WAY too many episodes of The Sopranos.

Gaelic lesson #8 "Ceann na capall", pronounced "Kee-un na kapall", meaning "horse's head". If you "get this" then visit this site.

Dollar Tree Madness

I like to get stuff for a buck. Yes, I admit to shopping occasionally at dollar stores. One thing I'm always on the look out for are relaxing CDs made by "Body and Soul". They have different ones with different types of relaxing music - e.g. one is called "Music for Reading", another is "Natural Sleep". I really like them since I give them to clients. I put a printed address label on the back of the CD covers with "A wee gift from..." followed by my business info. I like giving them since it's something that can help keep client's relaxed after the session and it's just nice to give them something. It's really great when I hear that people are actually listening to them and using them to unwind.

Well, it's always hit and miss when these CDs are available in the store. Most of the time I only get a few of different ones since they seem to run out of them fast, but when there's a stack of them I get a lot. So yesterday I ended up with 20 copies of the "Peaceful Moments" CD.

The girl at the register swiped all 20 of them individually and said "You REALLY like this music, don't you?"

"Yep, I really, really, really really, REALLY, really like it. Really."

Gaelic lesson #7 "Ceol alainn", pronounced "kee-ol aw-linn", meaning "beautiful music"

Introduction to an MT's right thumb

Name: Right Thumb
Nickname: Artie (it's a play on R.T)
Interests: Opening things, expressing positivity ("O.K." or "Everything's cool"), scratching the side of a cat's face, palpation, alleviating pain in people
Moved by: abductor pollicis brevis, adductor pollicis, first dorsal interosseous, flexor pollicis brevis, opponens pollicis, abductor pollicis longus,
extensor pollicis brevis, extensor pollicis longus, flexor pollicis longus
Fears: Cuts, bites, mutilation, being severed from right hand and hyper extension which leads to no longer being able to work (Artie's nightmare)
Hopes: To be the Jason Bourne of Trigger Point therapy
Friends: Right hand, especially right knuckles since they share the same interests in trigger point handling

Gaelic lesson #6: "ordog" pronounced "ordoag", meaning "thumb"

Today I think I felt my I.Q. drop 20 points in 60 minutes

Yep, you guessed it. I watched an episode of "The Real Housewives of Orange County"

Gaelic Lesson #5: "Go raibh maith agat", pronounced "Gura mie ugut", meaning "Thank you"